Who Pays on the First Date?

Once upon a time the boy or man or always paid on the first date and all subsequent dates. Then woman’s lib came along and it became a touchy subject. Who pays on the first date today? How about the person who does the inviting pays or you just agree to split the bill, Dutch treat? Here are thoughts from various sources.

The Man’s Basic Role is Provider and Protector

According to Jeannie Assimos of eHarmony the basic role of men in a relationship is that of provider and protector. She talks about first dates and who should pay. Now, there are women today who earn more money that the man whom they are dating. And there are women who fiercely defend their independence. Nevertheless, most women are looking for someone who is secure, stable and strong.

When it comes down to understanding the Laws of Polarity, masculine energy only has two gifts to offer the feminine. Simply put, it’s his job to protect and provide. In order for feminine energy to relax into a relationship and let her guard down, she absolutely must feel “safe” and if she doesn’t, it’s game over.

In order to feel safe, she probably has to be in the company of a man who is confident, relaxed and grounded. He has to not only take care of himself, but also take care of her. This means she has to feel protected and safe in his company-both from outside forces-and from him. She also needs to feel like he can provide for her needs and look after her. Obviously, the easiest and most symbolic way to demonstrate that is by providing the meal you are sharing.

For this to work the man needs to project confidence and the woman needs to graciously accept the offer to pay for the meal, entertainment and whole evening. If this is not how it is going to work then the couple needs to talk about it up front because it will become a recurring issue.

Dutch Treat Dates

When does it work best for the couple to share the bill? Some relationships start as friendships and slowly work into the romantic. As friends the two of you will share the bill or take turns paying. When one of you is short of cash the other covers expenses. And when he decides that it is time to move from friends to dating it would be time to arrange a real date and pick up the tab. If she wants to remain just good friends this is good time insist on continuing the current financial and social relationship.

Avoid Play and Pay Situations

A situation that woman need to avoid is one in which the man believes that since he is paying the bill he gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it. How to avoid an abusive relationship is to never get into one. If your new found male friend thinks that by paying for a meal and drinks that he gets whatever he wants regardless of your wishes, head for the exit and don’t answer his calls.

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