What Not to Say on a First Date

You have met this really interesting person online. You arrange a real date and when you see them walk in the door you know that you are in love. Then you start to talk and he or she seems to lose interest in what you are saying or even just gets up and leaves. You needed lessons in what not to say on a first date! Your date is going well and you would like to move the romance up a notch. You look into her or his eyes and say that you are sexually aroused and how about getting out of this place and finding a quiet corner to have sex. You may not get slapped. You will probably not be successful in getting what you want. And, you will always remember that what not to say on a first date is anything too explicit and too soon about the sexual act. With the goal in mind of having a successful date, a growing relationship, and a willing partner in bed, here are a few thoughts about what not to say on a first date.

Anything about your ex: The two of you or either of you may have been married or have had a serious relationship that broke up. This tells us that what you had before did not work out. There may be a point at which mentioning this is appropriate, but not as a leading subject on a first date. The two of you chose to go out together. Do not bring a third person, the memory of your ex, along on the date. It is a sure way to lose your new friend’s interest and maybe their company in a big hurry.

Any of your usual complaints: Life is often not fair and many times we need to talk about that. But, do not run through your usual list of complaints on your first date. The date is about the two of you and is supposed to be FUN! Use the date as a reason to forget about the things in life that bother you and attend to the matter of meeting someone new, fun, sexy, and, hopefully, willing.

That he or she is anything but attractive, interesting, and fun to be with: We all like to be flattered and that includes the person with whom you are going out. If you need to think of a few standard compliments, do so and have them ready. Do not turn a first date into a critical inspection of the other person. They may not leave right away but you will certainly never see them again, EVER.

Not too much: Everyone has a story and you should seek to learn than of your friend on the first date. At least do not do all of the talking on a first date. Have a few things to say so that the conversation does not drag but try to think of things to say that invite your new friend to talk about himself or herself. You will learn about your new friend and both you and your new friend will feel more comfortable as the date progresses.

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