Most people look forward to a hot first date. And everyone wants romance, the more the better. But there are people who use romance and lots of attention to manipulate, get what they want and destroy you in the process. Indy100 writes about love bombing as a manipulative psychological tool used by some folks you should be careful of.

Malicious dating methods are not uncommon and it appears that “love bombing” is the latest trend on the scene.

Previously we’ve had the likes of ghosting, benching and DTR where individuals manipulate another’s emotions for their own benefit.

Love bombing is a tactic that involves the immediate seduction of a new partner by showing them with affection.

According to the New York Post, this often occurs in whirlwind relationships, in which the overwhelming sensation of romance can push aside concerns and doubt.

This onslaught of periods of attention, known as “bombs”, leaves little room for the other person to question their partner’s intentions.

Some love bombers frequently declare their intentions to do things rather than ask questions. Whether they want to take you on holiday or outline how happy the next stage of the relationship will be, their target is to make you think they are indispensable and key to your future happiness.

At the core many of these people are narcissistic, sociopathic and abusive. A tip off should be the fact that their periods of intense affection and loving alternate with angry outbursts, threats and other controlling behavior. The need and desire to control is at the heart of this but someone who is overwhelmed by all the attention can miss the cues until the relationship has progressed. As we note in our article about how to avoid an abusive relationship liking yourself is important and letting someone become the controller of your self-esteem is dangerous.

Abusive people are sick people. They don’t deal with their own problems but blame others instead. Abusive people are typically possessive and jealous of their girlfriend or boyfriend. They attempt to control all aspects of their girlfriend or boyfriend’s life and become angry at signs of independence. Because of their insecurity abusive people always need to be in charge and to be right. Such people are prone to mood swings and tend to bully and manipulate to get what they want. They punish those closest to them in order to maintain control while lying and cheating to get what they want. Abusive people don’t respect their partners and refuse to admit that they have any problem at all.

The love bomber is this sort of abusive person and more. He or she purposely alternates love and affection with punishing behavior, all in an attempt to control you and get exactly what they want. If you don’t head for the door this could just end up as a really sad situation or it could end up with you being robbed or dead. This is a love bomber and you should be careful.