You have met someone really special. You think about her all of the time. You suggest that perhaps it would be nice to go out together. If she says yes you will be happy but what do you do if she rejects you? Rejection happens on first dates and after relationships have lasted for months and years. Here are a few thoughts on the subject of rejection and a little “tongue in cheek” commentary on basic research into what do you do if she rejects you.

Pick The Right Time, Place, And Words

Think a little before asking her out on a date. If you barely know her, you might suggest going out with a group of friends. This is not a real date but a chance to get to know her and let her get to know you. If this is someone you know socially but not romantically suggest something interesting and enjoyable. Avoid coming on too strongly or you may risk losing your friend as well as being rejected in your sexual advances.

Small Steps

Don’t try to convince the girl that you have just met that she should marry you. You want to go out on a date. Go out to have fun and keep the focus of conversation light and enjoyable. Don’t dwell on the pain of your past and don’t get too nosey about what your new friend wants for the future. If she has a good time on the first date she is likely to agree to another.

What Do You Do If She Rejects You?

Despite your best efforts to progress slowly and successfully in a relationship you are still interested in romance. So, if your goal really sex and sex early in the relationship what do you do if she rejects you? Apologies sometimes work. Letting a little time pass can also be effective. Flowers are an old standby. But, what does not work is going off and feeling sorry for yourself. If you find yourself in the bar after a rejection event give this comparison a little thought.

The Fruit Fly Comparison

The latest news out of the lab is that when male fruit flies are presented with receptive female fruit flies they get all excited. (Just like guys, right?) And they do their best to carry on a very brief courtship followed by sex. (Got your attention?) The nosey scientists, however, do not allow the fruit flies any privacy. Rather they keep track of sexual success or failure. It is the aftermath of sexual rejection that is of interest in this little drama. (Not so little if you are the guy who was rejected!) It turns out that when given the opportunity to drink alcohol the successful male fruit flies showed little interest in booze. However, the rejected male fruit flies took to drink. (Perhaps you are seeing yourself in this situation?)

So, with the rejected, and inebriated, male fruit fly in mind, what do you do if she rejects you? This is not a lecture on the evils of drink. But, the point is to be successful in dating and not to tell stories at the bar about how unfair life is. If you totally screwed up go and find someone else and learn from your mistakes. If she has not totally written you off try flowers, a brief apology, and listening to what she has to say.