There is always a risk in online dating that the person whom you have met online is not exactly the one you meet in person. It may not be apparent when you first go out on a date but if a hot first date is followed by the prospect of a happy relationship you will then find out. We are talking about when you find out that your sexy new friend is married to someone else. The way this usually works out is that you force the issue because you never go to their place and your phone conversations are always hush hush and hurried. Then when you force the issue he or she admits that they are still married but will end it soon. How much time should you spend waiting for your new friend to leave their spouse?

Married with Kids? Leave at Once

If you find yourself in a situation where your new friend and lover has children and is living with his or her spouse you simply need to stop seeing them. Anyone who is still in a family setting is simply having an affair and playing with your emotions at the same time. This is actually an abusive relationship for you and you need to leave now.

How Long Will the Divorce Take?

Your new friend may have moved out or been moved out on by their spouse. But divorce papers have not been filed or the divorce is dragging out and is a painful experience. Be careful that your new friend is not just using you for emotional and physical comfort in what is a tough situation. Because when things are finalized you may not be the person he or she wants to spend their life with. There is an old saying that you want to be the last person he or she dates after a divorce and not the first. This is because the first person gets to deal with all of emotional wreckage and the last person in line gets to live a happy life with someone who is older but wiser.

Somewhere in Between

The London Metro writes about having a crush on a married man who is living alone but not really over his “ex.”

The minute you start talking to someone who admits they’re married, alarm bells should be ringing. It doesn’t matter what state their relationship is in – they have committed themselves to someone else, but are choosing to stray.

A guy who wants to dedicate himself to you will have separated from his wife, processed the breakup, then put himself back out there. Nobody can jump straight into another relationship with the finesse you may be imagining – sure, it’s nice to think about this guy slamming down divorce papers and rushing off into the sunset with you, but how do you know this relationship is going to last?

The point is that you are a worthwhile and valuable person and you don’t need to take second place. Once your new friend puts himself or herself back together once they finish the transition from married to single you may or may not want them. Be careful and be wise.