By Cynthia Hanson of Life & Beauty Weekly

He doesn’t bring you flower any more or send you funny greeting cards. It’s been months since the two you of you left the house alone and you can’t recall the last time the two of you spoke of anything other than the children, the hours, or work.

One of common problems of a long term relationship is that the novelty wears off, routine settles in, and romance goes away. Familiarity, resentment, and dashed expectations contribute to the couple distancing themselves emotionally. How much emotional distance is there between the two of you may well depend upon if you can plan for and spend romance and just having time together.

Here are 5 tips for how to devote more of your couple time to romance:

1. Disconnect! Technology can interfere with your relationship if you don’t watch out. Turn off the cell phones, the television, and the home computers when to two of you are at home after work and take a little time to talk to each other. Cutting out the electronic interference creates the space you will need for real conversations.

2. Talk. At the beginning of your relationship talk, and romance, were easy. That is not always so after years of marriage. Don’t be afraid to ask for attention, flowers, and anything else that would make you happy. It is a mistake to think that asking for what you need takes the romance out of life. It may just serve to connect the two of you again.

Talk positively. Say things like, “I love it when you bring me flowers,” and not, “you never surprise me anymore.”

3. Have Fun. Having fun means different things to different people. But, whether having fun for you is going out the moving, going bowling, or taking a long walk along the river, make time for things that both of you enjoy. Sometime this means taking turns. Go with him to the next hockey game in return for a candlelight dinner at your favorite restaurant. What is important is to make and keep plans to do things that are not related to the things on you communal “have to” list.

4. Plan. Often times what really matters is planning and following through. It is often the time together that helps heal hurt relationships and rekindles the flame of romance. Having a romantic outing on the agenda give each of you something to anticipate and helps rebuild your connection even before you the take the first step out the door on your planned outing.

Remember that your outing will be just for you two. The kids, relatives, or social groups get their own slot on the schedule.

5. Show Affection. Kiss and hug in the morning before separating for the day. Compliments work fine too. When the two of you are together after work a kiss, hug, and a little conversation serve to help reconnect. Those romantic teasers can get both of you through a tough day with thoughts of when you will be together again.