When you go online in hopes of meeting someone, what sort of situation are you looking for? A hot first date is always a great fantasy but if you want sex there is typically a bit of seduction involved. And if you want the sex to continue a relationship will develop. Alternatively you can meet someone that you like, develop a relationship and then have all of the sex that you want when you want it.

The question we pose is which is more effective, seduction or relationship building?

Body or Heart?

In deciding on seduction or relationship building it is useful to ask yourself, do you want her body or her heart? This question works for men and women. Are you looking for a good time or a lasting relationship? Or do you want both? Depending on which route you take you may or may not succeed at getting what you want. After all, someone who has a high sexual drive may still want to make plans for a happy life, children, good job, etc. And someone who seems fixated on relationship building may not have a sex drive that is compatible with yours. We commonly suggest that the point of going out on a date is to have a good time. This can be along the lines of seduction if this is what the two of you want or it can be simply doing things together and letting a relationship develop. Many times the person that you have just met will want to get to know you and have a sense of security before becoming intimately involved. In this case a little patience may pay off with you winning both body and heart.

If All You Want Is Sex

Sex on the first date can be had. But, you need to be clear with your new friend what it is that you have in mind. It should go without saying that you want to show off your best features if you want to progress to sex on the first date. Clothing that fits well is important. So is clothing that accents your figure. If a man works out and has broad shoulders he should wear a shirt that helps define the results of all of those hours working out. A woman with large breasts may want to wear a dress with a deep cleavage. A woman with a smaller figure may choose a blouse that gaps open for a glimpse of her uncover breast, at the critical moment. And, if you are looking forward to an intimate evening wear something that you can remove easily. Even if the two of you seem to be on the same page do not press the issue or he or she may change their mind. And if you are interested in seduction instead of relationship building stay on task and do not wander off into things like talking about your ex.

If All You Want Is a Friend

There are people who simply want companionship and friendship. This is especially common after a breakup of a difficult relationship. Someone who has been badly hurt in a previous relationship may want a good friend and companion and will see moving to fast to a sexual relationship as a complication. The problem with this approach is that the man who is every girl’s friend may be seen as gay or at least someone who will never want a sexual relationship. This person can have his heart broken, again and again because the person with whom he develops a strong and heart felt relationship eventually looks elsewhere for sexual satisfaction and for someone with whom to raise a family.