No one likes confrontations with their partners. However, most of the time, they are necessary to reach a joint decision. If not treated with maturity and love, they can bring out the worst in us and drive us into a fit of anger that can damage the relationship and or damage it even further, if it is already damaged.

Given this, arguments are inevitable. Talking about the relationship problems is more advisable than waiting, which can make them bigger and cause resentment, ignoring the problems only makes the relationship more complicated. Always consider that the conflicts are also a very useful way of getting to know your partner: how he/she thinks and feel. Also take into account that the relationship will be stronger after having solved a problem that was overwhelming it.

Whenever you and your partner have a problem, resolving it together makes you realize the important factors that keep you together. If it were not for attraction, love or things you have in common, you would almost certainly separate after the first time that the slightest problem arose.

The most common problems facing couples today are as diverse as the couples out there. Even so, most of them can be divided into decision-making, an incompatibility of priorities, different personality defects and communication problems. All this, added to external stress, jealousy, quarrels and differences can aggravate and weaken the relationship.

Note that the basis of most arguments and frustrations between the couple is the lack of communication. The first relationship advice given by specialists in couple’s therapy is effective communication and feedback, recognizing the problem is a big part of the solution. There are many people that prefer to remain silent and avoid conflict. Many others, in an effort to sort things out, create more problems because they are filled with mixed emotions. Effective communication should be direct and very honest. Listening is just as important when it comes to communicating concerns.

The next step is to try to resolve the problem once it has been clearly presented. Here is when the maturity of both partners comes into play. You should not threaten or try to hide resentment. It is important to be open to the final step which is to negotiate a common agreement. The negotiation should try to avoid partiality, sticking to the realities of the relationship; for example, if something that makes one partner angry is that the other partner is out a lot with friends, it is best to negotiate the number of times the partner can go out. The couple should also try to understand what bothers the partner about the social life of the other.

It is also important not to get carried away by what your friends think. Many times, we turn to friends for advice about our relationship, telling our version of the problems, seeking our friends’ approval about the choices we make. The truth is that friends are never going to give a good relationship advice to the problems because they always see only one side and many of them are not interested or are unable to give a valuable opinion.