The recurring theme of fairy tales is that the princess longs for and finally finds her one true love. This person, typically a handsome and wealthy prince, is her ideal partner in romance and in life. Unfortunately, ideal partners do not exist outside of books and fairy tales. The other side of the coin is that you do not need to find the “perfect person” in order to be happy. In fact, the search for perfect partner commonly leads to disappointment and missing out on any number of relationships that would be perfectly fine!

Online Dating and Finding the Right Person(s)

When we join an online dating site we are hoping to widen our range of choices. Meeting more people can be fun and instructive. And, meeting lots of people improves the odds of finding a compatible person for romance and a long term relationship. There is also a learning curve that comes with dating several people. Year ago we published an article entitled Kiss Twenty Boys.

When a person is looking for an ideal partner and love of their life, it is a good idea to kiss twenty boys (or girls) before getting serious about any relationship. The point is not to “play around” or “cheat” but rather to come to understand people in a romantic and relational context. All too often in life we commit to the first person with whom we have a romantic encounter. Maybe we are swept off of our feet or perhaps we believe that this will never happen again and we had better hold on for dear life.

But, is the first boy or girl that you kiss going to be the person who makes you laugh, makes you happy, supports you in difficult times, is a great parent for your children, and an excellent provider?
On the ideal partner side of the equation, you do not need to kiss two hundred boys or girls to find someone with whom you are compatible and can enjoy and romance that leads into a solid, happy long term relationship.

Online dating is a great way to meet lots of people and you should do this. But, at some point, enough is enough.

If No One Ever Measures Up to Your Expectations

If it seems that no one is ever right for you, then the problem may be with your expectations rather than with them. Sometimes a person will have the mindset that the person they are looking for has to be a carbon copy of their mother, father, sister, brother, or someone they grew up with. First of all, the memory of that person is typically idealized and not the real person. Second, waiting for the right person in that manner is unfair to whomever you meet. To deal with this issue, we suggest, again, that look at the Kiss Twenty Boys article.

The other suggestions were to watch twenty moms and dads, take twenty trips, and try out twenty events with one or more of your new friends. Very often the belief that there is only one person for us is immature and a product of not enough life experience. Simply going out to have a good time, socialize, and learn about life is a great way to get more perspective and find a friend, romantic partner, and eventually a mate who makes you happy and shares life’s adventures with you.