How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship

Being betrayed, lied to or stolen from are some of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. If you want to save your relationship after you lost trust in your partner what do you do? According to rebuilding trust starts with a simple decision.

Make a decision. If you want to save the marriage, making the decision to trust again starts the healing process. Worrying and waffling about what to do just make things worse.

Face your feelings and let go of the anger. Write down your thoughts and get out all of your negative emotions on paper. If you wish, burn the paper and let it go up in smoke so it is released into the universe.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself during these tough emotional times. Eat healthy, drink a lot of water, stay away from alcohol and exercise. Try to laugh as much as possible.

When your emotions have subsided a bit think about what happened. Talk about it with a trusted friend or counselor. Understanding what went wrong, how you could have seen it coming and how you might have prevented it are important so that it does not become a recurring phenomenon.

If You Were at Fault

If you are the one who betrayed, lied or stole what do you do? Do you want relationship with this person? Are you willing to do what it takes to regain trust? Are you willing to deal with your issues that led to your actions? Being honest with yourself comes first. Then you need to be honest with your partner. And then you need to take the steps to make sure that what happened does not happen again. If you became abusive when you were drinking you need to start going to AA. If you found yourself in a situation where cheating was all too easy you need to change your habits. And you need to be patient with your partner because the loss of trust in your relationship was your fault and not theirs. If counseling helps get some and stick with it until the counselor stays you have had enough.

Fool Me Once…

The old saying is fool me once shame on your fool me twice shame on me. Is the breaking of trust a recurring thing in your relationship? We wrote years ago about how to avoid an abusive relationship. The repeated breaking of trust can be part of such a relationship.

Certainly there are a lot of warning signs that one can look out for in avoiding abusive relationships. But there are men and women who see the warning signs such as excessive control, punishing, etc. and remain in relationships. Unfortunately those of us with poor self-esteem can find ourselves in relationships that are abusive but not leave because we don’t believe that we deserve better. It is simple but believing that you deserve a good life helps you avoid abusive relationships. Doing things that you like to do with people who are supportive and kind gives you a safe place to go instead of back to someone who uses you as a psychological or physical punching bag.

This goes back to what we first said. When the emotions settle down think though what happened. Trust and love yourself and do what is best for you. If that means leaving an abusive relationship pack your bags and head for the door.

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