For most women the ultimate purpose of dating is to find a suitable companion for life. Online dating is useful in this quest because, like speed dating, it allows a girl to select more efficiently from a larger pool of suitable persons. And, online dating sites take on some of the tasks of a matchmaker by efficiently sorting out those unlikely to fit your criteria for a lifetime soul mate. But, once you have found one or more persons online and are dating, how do you know that the guy you are dating is the one you will marry?

The Differences between Guys You Date and the One You Will Marry

Thought Catalog has a useful article on the subject of datable guys versus the marriage types. They provide a list of topics and the things that should tip you off that “this guy” is the one you will marry and not just one more guy you are dating.

Commitment

The guy you are just dating says he is “not ready to commit” when what he really means is that he does not want to commit to you.

The guy you are going to marry is the one who will not hem and haw about commitment but rather will become closer and closer emotionally each time you go out together.

The Future

There is no future with the guy you are just going out with because he is in it for the momentary excitement and pleasure. Talk with him about a future together and all you will get are excuses.

The guy you will marry is willing to talk about the future and a possible future together because he is already imagining a future with you.

How Much He Can Get Away With

We have written for men especially about the perils of being a serial dater. This is the guy who has lots of dates and often has lots of sex, at least for a while. And this is the guy who winds up lonely and getting drunk down at the end of bar because he has no real future with anyone. He typically tries to find out how much he can get away with until the woman decides there is nothing there that she really wants.

The guy you will marry will certainly enjoy a hot first date but he is in it for the long haul and is willing to “meet you half way” when it comes to friendship, romance, and sex.

Your Dreams and Goals

Don’t even think that the serial dater type is going to be interested in your dreams and your goals in life because he cannot move past the thoughts of how much he wants you to want him. Emotionally he is a bottomless well that can never be filled and your concerns mean nothing to him.

The guy you will marry is emotionally intact and is coming to love you, want to live with your, and want to share a life with you. He will listen, encourage, and help you along the way.

Fighting and Abuse

The guy you are dating may blow up every time there is a disagreement or may try to dominate or control you. Abusive relationships are his forte.
The guy you will marry has both self-confidence and self-control. He may become angry but he will talk to you and the two of you will work out whatever issues are at hand.

NOTE: There are lots of guys who may be fun to be with but will not be the guy you will marry. There is really nothing bad about continuing to see these men until you find the one you want to spend your life with. But, when you are dating an abusive person and do not leave immediately, the constant abuse eats away at your self-esteem, self-confidence, and your soul. When this is happening you need to leave before jerk traps you in a life of self-loathing and regret!

Feeling Good

Many times in life there is something wrong but we do not understand it or know what to do. When you are dating a guy and the relationship is going nowhere, you are not feeling good and that, by itself, should be a clue that this is not the guy for you.

When you are with someone and your life feels complete and happy, that is a clue that things are not only good today but will be for a long and happy relationship.