When you have met someone online and are finally meeting face to face, how do you have an extraordinary first date? When you are going out on a first date you want to make a great first impression. But it can be easy to go overboard and fail at the task. Just being yourself is a good way to start a relationship. This advice comes from, of all places, The Wall Street Journal in an article about The First Date Challenge.

Those going on a first date are accountable for just a few key things: “Showing up on time and being themselves,” says the San Francisco-based Ms. Newman, 48, who went on 120 first dates before meeting the man with whom she had a commitment ceremony in 2013. “This sounds very practical but often, instinct has you trying to figure out what they want and doing that instead, when you should be representing as you.”

• Dress and behave as you normally do – you want to present your true self.
• Spend 30 minutes relaxing or listening to music before, to get yourself in a calm state.
• Pick a quiet place such as a cafe, park or restaurant for a short first date.
• Come prepared with some talking points and questions to keep [the] conversation flowing.
• Always text or email soon after to thank the person for the date

Where you go is not so important on the first date but you will want a place quiet enough to carry on a conversation. Parks, restaurants, bars and cafés all work for this purpose so long as there are not a lot of distractions. And don’t play hard to get before you meet face to face. Some people think that turning down the first suggestion for a date makes you seem hard to get and more attractive. This does not work. Spontaneity is a good thing and can make you seem sexy, attractive and desirable so don’t turn down a date on short notice. All of this advice presupposes that what you want to do is meet someone and find out if you want to see them again, develop a relationship or become romantically attached. If you want a really hot first date that is something else.

Not all hot first dates require movie star attractiveness. There are lots of interesting, alluring, sexy people with fairly average looks. A bright smile, a suggestive glance, and revealing garments can lead the way to a hot first date. Because of the chance that the first date will be a disappointment a women may want to wear a jacket over her revealing dress. If the encounter does not promise to be a hot first the date the jacket stays in place. If things become interesting you can ask him to please help you remove your jacket with the implication that you would like him to remove what little else you are wearing as well!

How do you have an extraordinary first date? Think about what you want and proceed appropriately. Whether you are looking for an interesting conversation or sex on the first date you will be more successful if you act normally and don’t pretend to be someone else.