We would all like to think that when we meet someone in online dating that they are acting in good faith. That is to say we expect that they are not lying about their age, intentions or marital status. But if you have met someone you like and are having second thoughts how can you tell if you are dating a cheater? Here are a few thoughts that come to mind.

• This person gives an email address or phone number that belongs to someone else as a way to contact them.
• He or she never invites you over or introduces you to family or friends.
• He or she never stays the night or spends holidays with you.
• Your new friend never divulges any identifying information such as an address, place of work, profession or even a last name that you can be sure of.

When this is going on you need to ask what this person is hiding.

Several years ago Cosmopolitan offered a longer and more inclusive list of ways to know that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Here are a few of the high points and our comments and the advice applies to both men and women.

He tells you he isn’t really ready for a relationship early on.

This could be because your new friend is busy building a career or recovering from a broken relationship but eventually he or she needs to get over it or you are stuck on a dead end street.

His telephone seems to never be charged up because you can rarely get through on a call and only he or she initiates contact.

This should get tiresome to you very fast. Relationships are two way streets and this sounds like you are the backup friend for when other friends or the spouse are not available.

He or she has more friends of your gender than you have.

You did not sign up to be just one of the girls or one of the guys. Find someone else.

You have never met any of his friends or family.

Maybe this person is from another city and just moved to town. Otherwise he or she is hiding something, like an entire other life.

You are getting just enough attention to stay interested but the relationship is not moving on.

Perhaps this person is just clueless or just not that interested. If you want a relationship have a talk with this person and move closer together or move on.

If you bring up the subject of your relationship and this person lashes out and says that you are just insecure or just crazy.

This has the makings of an abusive relationship and even if he or she is not cheating on you it is best to head for the door right now. As we said in our abusive relationship article the best way to avoid that sort of thing is to like yourself and take care of yourself. If you are dating a cheater that is an abusive relationship. Remind yourself that you are a good and worthwhile person and from now on hang out with people who like you and treat you well.