Are you dating someone whom you love or whom you think that you need? A sad fact in the dating world is that insecurity ruins relationships. At some level we all need someone in our life. When does that cross the line into insecurity and how can insecurity ruin a relationship? Elite Daily writes about things insecure people do and how these things ruin their lives and relationships.

• Insecure individuals don’t have the confidence to try their hand at enough things
• They live in a world of fear of judgment
• They usually avoid meeting new people
• They never give it their all because they don’t believe their all is good enough.
• The insecure can never entirely be themselves – they always hold themselves back
• Because they never attempt to be themselves, they never really find themselves or get to know themselves the way they should
• Essentially, insecure people live in a world filled with denial
• They miss out on the best things that life has to offer.

AND

Their relationships are doomed to fail

Relationships can often do much good and get insecure individuals to accept and work on their insecurities. However, when they fail to do so, they fail to grow as people and their partners lose interest over time. Being insecure is depressing. Depression has a way of spreading and spoiling things.

How Insecurity Plays Out in a Relationship

Are you the insecure one? Is it your partner? If you are the insecure person you are always looking for reassurance and your not so insecure partner may just get tired of the job of constantly reassuring you. On the other hand if you are in an abusive relationship your partner will say and do things to make you feel worse.

Those of us with poor self-esteem can find ourselves in relationships that are abusive but not leave because we don’t believe that we deserve better. It is simple but believing that you deserve a good life helps you avoid abusive relationships. Doing things that you like to do with people who are supportive and kind gives you a safe place to go instead of back to someone who uses you as a psychological or physical punching bag.

And what if you generally feel OK about yourself but your partner is the one who is insecure about things? First of all let’s be realistic. You are an athlete and into extreme sports. The first time your friend tried jet skiing with you they nearly drowned. Remember that there are places in life where insecurity and fear are rational. And if your friend is constantly afraid of common things and needing your reassurance give your reassurance but do so in such a way that your friend gains confidence. Don’t lead your friend into situations where they are in physical or psychological danger and work slowly to situations where they will gain more confidence with each step. If this becomes an all-consuming chore you need to consider counseling or finding another friend.