We all need to feel good about ourselves and it helps to feel good about our relationship. But what happens if our ego, our sense of self-esteem or self-importance is excessive? How can ego ruin a relationship? Thought Catalog offers 10 reasons why too much ego can ruin your life as well as just your current relationship.

There’s a big difference between confidence and ego. Confidence is healthy, ego is destructive. There’s a famous expression: ‘Too much ego will kill your talent,’ but it will not only kill your talent, it will kill you career, your relationships and your happiness. Too much ego can actually ruin your life.

Here are their ten reasons.

1. Makes you less compassionate
2. Pushes people away from you
3. Stops you from growing
4. Blocks love from coming into your life
5. Makes you irrational
6. Makes you competitive in an unhealthy way
7. Makes you critical
8. Makes you greedy
9. Adds more stress to your life
10. Kills your happiness

People with too much ego are egotistical as in excessively conceited, self-centered and self-absorbed. These are not good traits for a happy relationship. If your new friend has too big an ego you may want to think twice about going any further. Because, when the relationship is all about them it becomes abusive. We wrote about how to avoid an abusive relationship.

Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship can mean the difference between happiness and unhappiness, safety and serious bodily injury. The stabbing death of a young woman in Los Angeles, California, school cafeteria has been in the news lately. There were many cues preceding the murder of this young woman. Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship not only helps us avoid psychological trauma but physical assault and even death. Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship usually starts with the person’s own self esteem. When we like ourselves and feel good about ourselves we tend to avoid situations and relationships that are psychologically and physically abusive.

The fact of the matter is that people with a big ego really don’t like themselves. They need to constantly win, dominate others and experience their version of success in order to get through each day. These folks tend to gravitate to partners with low self-esteem but anyone with good self-esteem won’t give them the time of day! If you find that it is hard to keep a relationship it might be a good idea to think about whose fault it is and learn to deal with your sense of inadequacy instead of trying to create situations that artificially make you feel better. If you are stuck in a relationship with an egotistical person remember that fixing him or her is not your chore. Rather he or she needs to deal with their problems in order to make themselves worthy of being your friend, companion or lover.

Liking Yourself As You Are

Egotistical people and those who are with them do not like themselves and need constant reinforcement of that idea that they are exceptional, successful and loved. Learning to like yourself and accept yourself helps in avoiding too much ego and in allowing an egotistical person to run your life.