“Are we going to have sex or make love”, she says after removing her bra and panties. You are certainly aroused enough to start the sexual act immediately. But, do you just want to have sex or make love luxuriously for the entire afternoon. After all neither of you has anywhere to go for the rest of the day. And neither of you has anyone else that you would rather be with. Are we going to use our lunch break to have sex or make love at the end of the day when we have time to do it again and again until we fall asleep in each other’s arms? When he asks the question this way you start making plans to get out of work on time and meet at his apartment, picking up takeout food along the way. We all want and need sexual gratification. All of us also want and need something more. Making love is having sex but with the one that you love. Making love is about touching the soul of the other person and going, together, to a place where there are no words but only touch, and scent, and a sensation that shakes the core of your being. In making love we let the other person know that we care about them, not about just their good looks and sexual stamina.

The Ideal Combination Is Sex and Love

There are certainly times when sexual arousal calls and you and your partner had better answer. There are certainly times a little stolen sex, or a lot of stolen sex is exciting, refreshing, and utterly satisfying. And there are times when we have sex quickly and go about our business and leave the other person feeling empty and alone. There are times when everyone just likes to have someone near them, awake or asleep. It is always nice to know that there is someone who cares and someone who just likes to hold hands, kiss, and do things together. The best of all worlds is when we have the two needs met by the same person. Then it is seldom a matter of whether we will have sex or make love but how we will combine the sheer enjoyment of the sexual act with the sense of wonderment that comes with doing it with the person who means more to you than anyone else in the world.

Can There Be Too Much Of One And Not Enough Of The Other?

There are times when we cannot imagine that there could ever be too much sex in our lives. And there are times and relationships full of love and happiness in which sex does not play a big part. However, it is rare to see a long term and happy relationship that does not contain a balance between physical sex and a close and caring relationship. So, when your girlfriend or your wife removes her panties or bra or your boyfriend or husband uncovers that bulge in his underpants and asks, “are we going to have sex or make love,” your answer may be, “Both, and all night long!”