Getting To Know Him

Depending on the kind of guy that you are dating getting to know him, really, can be difficult. We all assume various roles in life. We start by being kids, students, wise guys, or just good kids. As we grow into adulthood many of our traits are already well established. For the woman interested in a man this can be a problem getting to know him. Your guy may be very fluent when talking about his job, baseball, or something funny that he just saw. He may be absolutely tongue-tied when you ask him about what he wants in a relationship, what he thinks about the relationships of others, or just about anything that requires a judgment call. Many boys are raised to become men like their fathers. That means being a hard worker, a good provider, and someone to does his duty as he sees it. This man may well be a loving and caring guy but he will often not be verbal.

Getting to know him can be hard if what you want is his thoughts on women’s feelings. He likely does not have any. He may not really be in touch with his own feeling or at least be able to identify them. He also may not be interested in discussing subjects where he comes to feel stupid or inadequate, like most relationship issues. Some guys strive successfully to be good workers, good providers, and good guys. They often succeed because they keep focused on the task at hand and try to keep things basic and simple. See it, learn it, do it, teach it, of a common manta with these guys. They are probably capable of understanding a lot of women’s issues but you may not like the answers you get when they do tune in to what you are saying.

When it comes to getting to know him and what his issues are you may find that he has worked hard to limit his life to the things that work out and has sought to avoid those things that don’t make sense, seem nonproductive, or don’t lead toward his goals. His goals, remember are being a good and successful worker, provider, and someone who does his duty as he sees it. Being insightful about how you feel about your mother may not be high on his list of priorities, which may be very long, by the way. Getting to know him will come with being with him. Learning his habits and enjoying his reliability, caring, and compassion. Find time to be alone with him and find out that being a good lover who satisfies his partner is high on his list of priorities as well.

Getting to know him will work out just fine if you take your time, do things together, share you hopes and fears, and are patient. Always remember that in getting to know him you may not like what you find. That is often the result of dating. Don’t be afraid to admit that is the case and move on.

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