Perhaps you are not getting many first dates. And perhaps you have had a series of hot first dates but after the sex the two of you have found no common ground for a lasting relationship. Sometimes success in dating comes down to knowing yourself and what you want in a relationship. Then the issue is finding someone who fits. Online dating is supposed to help in that you post a resume and hopefully get lots of responses. But still nothing works out. Do you need a matchmaker? We wrote about internet dating as a matchmaker.

Historically a matchmaker is someone who brings two people together for the purpose of marriage. The point of using a matchmaker was and is to use marriage to strengthen political unions, to assure that a woman is marrying a man with sufficient wealth to support her comfortably or to find someone who is part of the same religious faith or ethnic group.

The practical aspect of using a matchmaker is to think a bit about whom one will be happy with and to limit one’s search for a mate by a given set of criteria.

Sometimes, however, people lie about themselves in their resumes. We wrote about knowing if the person you are dating is the one. It would be really nice to be certain even before you meet someone face to face that they will be the love of your life. Using a matchmaker is a little like getting dating advice from grandma. She is removed from the immediate scene and has a lifetime of experience.

What are the things that make you happy? None of us wants to live in poverty. Everyone would like an attractive partner. And who would not like to be in the top social circle? But, the point of dating is by in large to develop a long term happy relationship. That is typically easier with someone who is kind, generous and compassionate. In the grandma article they suggest that you watch to see how your new friend treats the waitress or if he or she opens the car door for you. These seemingly little cues tell you how this new person relates to others.

The point of using a matchmaker is that he or she does a lot of the necessary research for you and bypasses the risk of being lied to in an online resume. In addition a matchmaker will often find someone whom you will not find via online dating. Also a matchmaker can do a lot more in depth investigation if that is what you would like. Dirtymatchmakersecrets.com writes about how much matchmakers cost depending on how much work you want them do to.

Once you start looking for a matchmaking service, you’ll quickly realize that prices vary from around a thousand bucks to well into the six figure range. For instance, Janis Spindel, an elite matchmaker in New York City, charges as much as $500,000 for a package including credit and background checks, home visits, psychological testing, and personal interviews with each potential match.

But don’t worry, there are plenty of matchmakers that charge in the $2,000 to $5,000 dollar range, and that’s a completely reasonable amount to expect to spend. Finding the love of your life is an investment, and you want to make sure you choose a quality service that works.

Having someone sit down for a battery of psychological tests before you have ever met them is probably a deal breaker for most folks. But families with billions of dollars would just as soon not wait until after the wedding to find out that the new member of their family has anger problems and felonies on his record.