If you want that special someone you just met to become a part of your life do not force your relationship. Forcing a relationship takes two forms. One is trying to make things move along faster, and in your favor. The other is holding on or clinging when you think that the person is pulling away. In each case do not force your relationship if you want things to turn out well in the long run. With the goal of long term and satisfying relationships in mind we offer a few thoughts on how relationships evolve and how to avoid messing up.

Were You Made For One Another Or Not?

Remember that when you are dating someone you should be having a good time. When you and your new friend get along well in the dating scene things naturally move on to a more solid relationship. Unfortunately there are times when we get desperate. We want a special someone in our life. We come to think that anyone will do. This is a mistake. Sometimes couples fit together like hand and glove. Sometimes they do not. If the two of you do not get along, if the two of you are not happy together, or if the two of you are always trying to change the other person do not force your relationship. If things are just not working out try dating someone else for a change.

Trying To Change Him Or Her

Trying to change the person you are going out with usually ends up badly. Either you like the person you are with or not. If you do not it can be a real chore trying to change his or her habits that have been there since childhood. Do you really want to spend your whole life “correcting” the behavior of the adult you live with? Do not force your relationship. There is someone out there that you can live with, enjoy life with, and not spend your time fixing. Go find him or her and don’t waste your time on a lifelong repair job.

Relationships Are Meant To Evolve

Trying too hard, too soon, often ends up in confusion. For example, you have just met that special someone. You have had a couple of nice dates. Then you start talking about marriage, moving in together, moving to another town, how many kids to have, and more. This kind of talk needs to be part of the later stages of a relationship before marriage. Bring these things up too soon and your special someone may just be scared off. Do not force your relationship as it is meant to evolve.

Afraid To Lose Him Or Her

Disagreements and even fights are common as relationships evolve. Ask any married couple! Folks who have been happily married for years will tell you that the most important thing is their relationship and that disagreements have a way of working themselves out. If he or she says she needs a little space, give it to her. If it turns out that he or she is going to leave it is probably for the best. On the other hand it is all too easy to drive a loved one away by never giving them time to think and reflect on the issues of your relationship. Give him or her a little time and you will find that they love you and just needed to sort things out.