A great article in Time offers fourteen bits of dating advice from grandmother. It is all too easy to think that because someone is not young, attractive in part of the in crowd that they do not know about dating what it takes to be happy. The writer interviewed her 85-year-old grandmother for dating advice.

• Look for someone who is compassionate.
• If you get involved in something you like, then you might meet someone who likes the same things as you.
• Usually the boy should initiate the first date, but I think sometimes the girl can subtly initiate it by flirting.
• If a guy asked me on a date over text, I would text back, ‘Let’s meet for a coke or something and we’ll talk about it.
• Why can’t your friends introduce you personally?
• Even though I married at 21, I think it’s alright to wait, especially in today’s dating world. You don’t get together half the time to date so no wonder it takes a while.
• Do what you feel in their heart is right and keep their head on straight. Be true to yourself, and don’t try and be someone else or fit the mold of who you think that person might like.

Read the article. It is good advice from someone with a lifetime of perspective.

Compassion Instead of Looks, Money or Social Position

What are the things that make you happy? None of us wants to live in poverty. Everyone would like an attractive partner. And who would not like to be in the top social circle? But, the point of dating is by in large to develop a long term happy relationship. That is typically easier with someone who is kind, generous and compassionate. In the grandma article they suggest that you watch to see how your new friend treats the waitress or if he or she opens the car door for you. These seemingly little cues tell you how this new person relates to others.

Meeting Face to Face

Online dating is an efficient way to sort through and meet lots of new people. But many people experience a high failure rate once they meet face to face. Grandma’s advice is to insist on meeting over a coke to set a first date. The thing that is missing in the world of texting and dating apps is tone of voice and sense of the whole person. Use online dating to find people and move quickly to face to face encounters. This writer remembers check her email on a laptop in a Midwestern coffee shop. The place was filled with twenty-somethings emailing, texting and not talking. Simply asking the young man next to me to plug in my power cord gave me the opportunity to start a conversation. He was so delighted! And everyone else was amazed. Meeting face to face lets you know just how much of a person’s bio is really them and how much was written by a friend with great writing skills!