Avoiding Arguments while Dating

You are dating and find someone whom you like. You see more and more of each other and then one day you get into an argument. Maybe it is a small argument and maybe it is a big argument. Maybe the two of you will work it out and maybe the argument is a sign of things to come. Avoiding arguments while dating is a good idea, if you want things to go smoothly. However, avoiding arguments while dating can lead to problems in a relationship, if you are avoiding a discussion of things that are important. With these thoughts in mind here are a few ideas about avoiding arguments while dating.

Don’t Start A Fight If You Don’t Need To

Avoiding arguments while dating goes with recognizing your feelings. Hurt feelings often lead to arguments. Take a little time to think through just what the argument is about and work to solve the problem instead of trying to punish the one that you love.

Don’t Always Insist On Winning The Fight

It is absolutely possible to win an argument but lose a promising relationship. Maybe something that you have said or done has hurt your friend. Maybe your feelings are hurt. Maybe the argument has to do with who gets to choose or decide. If you are planning on being together for a long time don’t go for the jugular when arguing. Work together to fix the problem, not win the argument.

Is It A Fight Or A Disagreement?

In healthy relationships it is common to disagree. In fact, couples often acknowledge that they disagree on certain issues. Arguments or fights only emerge when one or the other decides that they need to win the argument. This “need” usually comes from a sense of insecurity. Think about just what the issue is that you are arguing about. Then look at your own feelings to see if you are arguing for that issue or for your sense of self-esteem.

Learn When It is Important to Win

Avoiding arguments while dating is not always a good idea. If you are with someone who is psychologically or physically abusive you need to stand your ground. Say what you think and demand respect. Go to see a clergyman or counselor if you need to. Leave if your health and safety are at risk.

Avoiding arguments while dating is not a good idea if the subject of the argument is really important to you. If you want to spend more time with your friends and your boyfriend or girlfriend hates them, then you need to work that out. If your boyfriend wants you to quit your job so that you will need to depend on him for handouts, fight for your rights. If your girlfriend wants you to give up your good job in order to move to another town next to her parents stand up for your own point of view.

If, in the end, the two of you argue about everything it may simply be time to break up.

If, on the other hand, the two of you are able to voice your opinions and then solve issues, avoiding arguments while dating may not always be the best idea.

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