10 Tricks To Deal With Missing Your Girl

Whenever a couple is forced to separate, for however long, and for whatever reason, it can be a gut-wrenching experience. How you handle yourself under this kind of pressure is what helps to define you as a man. There are techniques that can help you in your struggle, but first you have to determine exactly what kind of “missing” is messing with you.

There’s more than one way to be “missing your girl”. There is the bittersweet “aww, gee” type of “missing your girl”, common among first-time relationship partners whenever they are out of each other’s sight for longer than 11 minutes. There is the not-so-wonderful “missing your girl” that goes along with having just been dumped-on via a text message. There is the equally uncomfortable “missing your girl” feeling that you get when you can’t remember at which Starbucks you were supposed to meet her, your cell phone gets no service and you are already fifteen-minutes late. The tips below cover some different situations, and offer some varied responses.

  1. Correspondence – If this is your first time away from your honey, you can while away the time by composing the world’s longest love letter.
  2. Texting – In today’s world physical separation may not be such a tribulation, since you and your sweetie can text a running dialogue for as long as the charge holds out on the cell phones.
  3. The Eagles – If your parting was less than amicable, you may try “missing” your girl by howling the lyrics to The Eagles’ “Already Gone”. If you can hit 120 decibels or greater as you cry “. . .’Cause I’m already gone, and I’m feelin’ strong, woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo. . .” you may be able to release some of the pain.
  4. Pretend “it’s all good” – For this approach you will need to use the Statler Brothers’ “Flowers on the Wall”. You can pretend things are fine, and that you aren’t having any trouble filling the time, as you sing to yourself, “Counting flowers on the wall, that don’t bother me at all. Playin’ solitaire til dawn with a deck of 51, smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo, now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do. . .”
  5. Positive Forgetfulness – You can’t miss her if you don’t leave her, and you can’t leave her if you manage to strategically forget most of the items you should have packed for your journey. After your seventh trip back from the car to look for a missing sock, your Significant Others may tell you this better be the last time back in the house or you won’t be missing her, but you might be missing your plane ride to go nail down the big contract. Miss that, and you will soon be missing a paycheck, too.
  6. Bring Her With You – If you take your darling with you on business trips, you won’t have to miss her. It may be tough to get her to attend more than one-or-two Ball Bearing Industry Conventions, help in exotic Cincinnati, which puts you back to Square One.
  7. Picture – You’d better carry at least one picture of your petunia in your wallet at all times. It doesn’t help to ease the pain of being away, but it will serve as a reminder of who you are supposed to be missing while you are attending the annual Lingerie Models & Wholesalers Expo in Las Vegas.
  8. Skype – Whenever you utilize this state-of-the-art communication and connection device, it is best to have the background show up as plain and austere. Your sugar-doodle may have a hard time believing you are missing her if she sees a hot tub, a bevy of bikini-clad beauties and a tiki bar behind you. One more tip: lose the sombrero.
  9. Scented Hanky – Whenever the night-errant takes leave of his fair maiden, she may send him off with a kerchief that she has perfumed. Today’s favorite aromas, designed to bring the man back, are Calvin Klein’s Obsession, Coco Chanel’s Chanel #5 and Colonel Sanders’ Secret Recipe.
  10. Cry, Snivel And Whine – Great on a cathartic level, but may not play well with the rest of the football team you are traveling with.

None of these tricks, or any others, can truly take away the pain of separation, but they can help ease the way through some tough times.

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