10 Signs Your Wife Just Doesn’t Care Any More

Maybe you spotted a few more gray hairs in the mirror, or perhaps the bathroom scale is telling you to start laying off the shortbread cookies. If you start noticing things like that, you may also get the feeling that your better-half is not only aware of these things, too, but she also seems to be drifting away. There are some subtle hints and clues you should be able to spot before the ship leaves port, never to return. If you observe any of the following behaviors, the time for serious worry may be at-hand.

  1. Text – You can probably figure she doesn’t care a lot anymore when she starts texting you, instead of talking to you. If this happens when you’re in bed, you should just start packing your bags.
  2. Who? – It may not mean anything if she calls you by the wrong name. You know you have a problem, though, if it happens on a daily basis, and she doesn’t bother to correct herself.
  3. Nightmare on Elm Street? – If you wake her from a dream where she is calling out the name of an ex-lover, and she wants you to tell her more about the dream, you should figure something is rotten.
  4. Singing – Singing can be a good thing, unless the only songs on her play list are Loretta Lynn’s “All I Want from You (is Away)”and the Eagle’s “Already Gone”.
  5. Vacation – You finally take that long-awaited trip to a deserted Pacific Isle, where you discover that only one of the tickets your wife purchased is for round-trip travel.
  6. Eggplant – If she seems to have forgotten, for the fifth time in a week, that you really don’t care for eggplant, this could point to certain unresolved issues. If it’s chopped liver she keeps preparing, this should also serve as a harbinger.
  7. Next to Godliness – It is a good thing to walk into the bathroom every morning and be greeted by a sparkling floor and a shiny sink. It isn’t such a good thing to pick up a toothbrush that smells suspiciously like Lysol.
  8. Surprise – When the only people she invites to your surprise birthday party are people you owe money to, then you can safely assume that the bloom is off the rose.
  9. Comfort Zone – If she just ordered a “comfort zone” mattress online and gave a shipping address that doesn’t match your current home address, you may need to make a few inquiries.
  10. Vacancy – If you suddenly notice that she isn’t home, and then you realize she hasn’t been home for two-weeks, this could indicate some beneath-the-surface tensions.

You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to solve some of these little mysteries, but you had better act quickly to rekindle the dying embers of a love-light flame. Once it goes out, you won’t get to re-light it.

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