Think of online dating as a means to an end. What is your dating goal? Do you want a hot first date? Or do you want to meet the right person and move slowly into a long term happy relationship? What is your dating goal? Decide that first of all and then proceed with online dating. If you are having problems in that regard here are a few thoughts.
Bored With Online Dating?
Social media are full of stories about people being tired on online dating. The next new thing appears to be dating apps that help you bypass all of the preparation that usually goes into finding that special someone. If online dating bores you perhaps the question to ask is what is your dating goal? If what you want is simply to meet lots of people without really heading towards a permanent relationship then one of the new fast and furious apps is for you. If you simply have a short attention span it may be difficult to put together a resume and post your picture not to mention follow up to see if anyone is interested in you. But, if that is the case, you are going to have problems finding someone anyway. Perhaps then you need to move back a few generations in history and find a match maker like the character in Hello Dolly and let that nice lady arrange your life for you!
How Wide Or Narrow A Field?
The old term for dating a lot of people is playing the field. The point of some speed dating events is to help you narrow the field to people in your line of work, from your ethnic group or of your religious background. And the point of online dating is to do the same thing and more. In addition online dating lets you test the waters so to speak before meeting face to face. If you have had a lot of first date failures this may be a good approach. On the other hand it all may have to do with how you handle a first face to face date.
Is It Really About The Online Part?
If you are one of the people who never seem to get beyond the first date maybe it is you! If that is the case think about how you are presenting yourself online. Is this the same person who shows up for a first date? Do you get first date nerves? If that is the case here are a few suggestions.
Nervousness And Fear Are Relative Things: Think about the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your life. Then think about the worst thing that could happen on a date. A little perspective helps calm your nerves.
Successive Approximations: Thinking of things that make us nervous can make those things seem worse. It is a sort of feedback loop. To calm yourself think about the person you find so attractive. Just think about how he or she looks and what their voice sounds like. Then imagine talking to them. Practice something as simple as a greeting. Do these things many times until you heart rate slows down.
Do Not Try To Get Married On The First Date: Remember that you are going out on a date and not proposing marriage.
What is your dating goal? Decide that first of all and think of online dating as a means to obtaining what you want when you go out on a date.