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Three Things to Avoid on the First Date

Whether you go out on dates regularly or have not been out on a date for a long time there are some useful things to keep in mind. For example, keep it simple. A first date is a first date and not a wedding. You have made no commitments except to show up. If things go badly, you can always leave. If things go well, you can always go out on a second date. Because everyone wants things to go well let us look at how to improve the odds of a successful first date. Here we are not necessarily talking about sex on the first date but simply how to have a nice first date that does not end in disaster. With success in mind here are three things to avoid on the first date.

Do Not Talk About Your Ex: The first of our three things to avoid on a first date has to do with the subject of conversation. If you were married or in a long term relationship you may still be dealing with the pain of breaking up. Talk about these feelings with your best friend or even a therapist if the pain runs deep. Do not talk about your ex with your new found friend. The point of going out on a date is to find someone new. Bringing that third person into the picture kills any meaningful conversation about the two of you. And, if your former friend, lover or spouse was the dearest person in your life do not talk about your ex or your new friend will quickly decide that he or she simply will never measure up. The point of a first date is to start a new relationship, not rehash the old one.

Do Not Criticize: The second of three things to avoid on a first date has to do with manners.All of us have opinions and sometimes we have strong opinions. But, a really quick way to ruin a first date is to get into an argument about politics or religion. Even worse, if you assume the moral high ground and continually criticize your new friend that friendship will not last for long. Later on in a relationship there is room for discussions on any subject but continual and unrelenting criticism is a sure way to drive away that person of your dreams.

Do Not Beg: We all want to be loved and sometimes our need for love and acceptance leads us to extremes. Remember that confidence wins in dating. Do not fall into the trap of believing that you need to say yes to everything that he or she says. Do not start believing that you need to please him or her or that your life will be sad and that you will be a failure. Have confidence in yourself and remember that you are going out on a date to have a good time. If this new friend turns out to be demanding it is time to split the check and leave. The burden of having a good time on a date is a shared responsibility. Do not ever start out your relationship with anyone by begging for their attention, love or affection. Find someone who likes being with you and who makes life easier for you and not more difficult. That is the way to start out a happy relationship. There are lots of things to think about on a first date but if you remember our three things to avoid you will likely avoid a dating disaster.




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