Did you ever notice a group of young men and women sitting together, in a coffee shop for example, texting on their smart phones? Each is communicating with someone else somewhere in the world. And no one is talking to anyone else! Maybe these folks are all out on first dates and all have first date nerves. If that is the case they are hiding behind their smart phone to avoid getting to know the person they should be trying to get to know! This phenomenon also applies to relationships after the first date. Interestingly, an article in the Mail Online reports a study in which women claim that smart phones are ruining their relationships! And this is not the other person using their smart phone and ignoring the woman in question. It is the woman herself who is in love with her smart phone and ignoring the person that allegedly she wants to get to know.
If you are emotionally attached to your smartphone and rely on it every waking minute, it may be harming your relationship.
Psychologists claim that increasing numbers of people in long-term partnerships are having to compete with their partner’s smartphone for attention, making it the ‘third wheel’ in their relationship.
A survey found that almost three quarters of women in committed relationships feel that smartphones are interfering with their love life and are reducing the amount of time they spend with their partner.
Scientists found that what they describe as this ‘technoference’ – even if infrequent – sets off a chain of negative events: more conflict about technology, lower relationship quality, lower life satisfaction and higher risk of depression.
The interesting but sad part of this phenomenon is that a device allegedly meant to connect us to the world ends up isolating us and even leads to depression! So, so smart phones ruin relationships? If so what you can do about it?
The point of going out on a date, besides hoping for sex on the first date, is to get to know this new person. Using your smart phone constantly in conversation brings a third person, or fourth or fifth into the relationship. BoldSky has an interesting article about how to boost communication in relationships.
Talk and listen: Talk to each other often. Be a good listener too. You should carefully listen before saying your view point. When your partner has something to say, encourage them by listening to them. It is one of the ways to improve communication in a relationship.
Spend time together: In this hectic life, ignoring children and partner will only make the relationship worse. Share your time wisely by cooking together, going out, cracking jokes and watching movies together to boost relationship.
These are good ways to build communication and they specifically do not require a hand held electronic device! If you want to communicate with the person next to you turn off the smart phone and look him or her in the eye as you speak.
Make Love with Your Partner of Your Smart Phone?
Making love can and should be spontaneous. But it does not work to have a lot of distractions along the way. The new distraction to sexy relationships is the smart phone. KPCC quotes the same study when talking about how to perk up your love life. An example of how to handle this:
“Put [the phone] out of my reach, like on top of the refrigerator, just so that it releases the temptation.”
You can find your own solution but remember that in excess smart phones ruin relationship.