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Sex, Love, and Relationships

The everlasting themes of life are sex, love, and relationships. Sometimes sex, love and relationships play out in exactly that order and sometimes not.

Is It Love Or Pheromones?

When we are first “in love” it is often simply sexual attraction. Sexual attraction happens when we see someone that turns us on. Sexual attraction happens when we touch or are touched. A certain “sexy” tone of voice may be a come on. Just the right sort of smile can raise sexual interest. And, there are pheromones. These are chemicals that animals secrete that cause them to be sexually attractive to others of their species. People have these as well. None of this has to do with a deep sense of caring about the other person, wanting to build a life with them, enjoying their company through good times and bad. But, sex is commonly the basic ingredient to a healthy relationship.

Love and Caring About Someone

There are times when we go to bed with someone and wake up regretting the decision. And, there are times when we feel a deep and abiding closeness, care, and concern for another person. When we enjoy sex and a caring relationship it is commonly the best of both worlds.

A Happy Relationship

In the end pretty much all of us would like a happy relationship. We may find varying amounts of sex to be desirable. We may feel a deep and abiding love for our partner or we may simply enjoy being together. “Different strokes for different folks,” they say. The thing is that we all deserve a bit of happiness in life and arranging our lives and relationships in such a way as to bring about happiness is a good thing.

Which Comes First: Sex, Love, Or Relationships

In reality, any part of the puzzle can come first so long as they join correctly in the end. There are folks who start out looking for lots of recreational sex and find the love of their life. There are people who enjoy each other’s company and grow to care for each other and, bit by bit, partake of the joys of a physically intimate relationship. And there are people who help each other with no thought of sex or a long term relationship. Sometimes in these situations continued proximity helps break down barriers and inhibitions so that a personal relationship develops followed by sexual attraction and intimacy. It does not really matter which comes first if the end result is good. What can be a problem is if one person desires a purely sexual relationship and the other wants friendship, a partner in life, and someone who truly cares about them and their wellbeing. Here is where it is wise to think about what you want in life and how you are going about getting it. Some people believe that simply not caring is a protection against pain but, in the end, such an approach leads to an empty and sad life. Take a hold of life with both hands and look to join sex, love, and relationship for life long happiness.




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