Is it possible to say no and remain friends if you think a relationship is moving along to quickly? For that matter do you want to say no and remain friends with someone who, it turns out, you really do not like? To say no and remain friends is probably what you want if you are turning down a date from a coworker, long term platonic friend, or someone who will remain in your social circle for a long time. Saying no may have to do with turning down a first date, deciding not to go out with someone a second time, or having a hot first date and then finding out that he is immature and lazy out of the bedroom. With these possibilities in mind here are some thoughts on how to say no and remain friends.
Keep The Other Person’s Feelings In Mind
Just because we do not like what someone did for said does not mean that they intended to hurt us. You may decide that your new friend is not the one for you but he or she still has feelings. Think about your friend before saying that you want to break up. Say what it is that bothers you about his or her wish to move the relationship on to a more intimate level before you are ready. It is OK that he or she has wants or desires but so do you. To say no and remain friends consider his or her point of view before you say no. How to end a relationship on all levels is to hurt the other person’s feelings. To say no and remain friends remember that others have feelings too.
Say No In Private And Not It Public
There is no need to embarrass someone with whom you would like to remain friends. If you want to break off a dating relationship tell him or her in private and not in front of mutual friends or family in a public setting. This is especially important if you have been dating seriously and talk has come around to a permanent relationship. Say no and remain friends by telling him or her, in private, that you want to break things off and say exactly why it is.
Be True To Yourself
Sometimes it is not possible to say no and remain friends. If your boyfriend wants sex on the first date and you do not it is OK to say no. If he tends toward being domineering, demanding, or abusive he may get really angry or threatening. Be true to yourself and don’t give in to threats or psychological abuse. In this case the problem is not just sex before you want it. The problem is him and the sooner he is out of your life forever the better it will be.
Do Not Answer In Anger
If an issue comes up in the heat of the moment both of you might get very upset. It may just be a misunderstanding and it may be really important. Do not answer in anger. To say no and remain friends it is best to think about what the problem is and then say what you think.
Do Not Wait Too Long
But, don’t confuse waiting to sort out your thoughts and feelings with being afraid to say what you think. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Don’t let a misunderstanding turn into a long term painful issue. And, don’t let your boyfriend or girlfriend think that just because you did not answer right away that what they want is OK.
In the end it is OK to be just good friends with someone and not be lovers. Getting from a budding relationship back to friendship can be tricky. Think before you speak but don’t wait too long. Be considerate of the feelings of others but stay true to yourself. And, say private things in private to avoid public embarrassment.