You are going out on a real live first date with someone whom you met on an online dating site. This may well be the person of your dreams. Things are going well until you do or say something wrong and your newfound friend is ready to get up and leave. The question is how do you recover from a dating mistake? How do you recover from a dating mistake when you may not be sure what it is that you did or said that was wrong? And do you really want to recover from a dating mistake when it has to do with your new found friend being overly sensitive? Here are a few thoughts about recovering from a dating mistake.
Race, Religion or Politics
There are several subjects that are good to avoid if you want to have a successful first date. Most people find politics to be boring but other people have really strong political opinions. If you inadvertently said something that offends or angers your new friend apologize as quickly as possible. Do not explain your opinions or your right to have them. You may have the right to do so but if you want to continue developing a relationship with this person you need to swallow your pride, right now. The same applies to discussion of race and politics. Avoid these subjects. But if you mistakenly wander into this sensitive region and say something dumb admit it and change the subject. Along the way do not beat yourself up either. We all make mistakes and the key to a happy life and happy relationships is to admit our faults and move on.
Personal Appearance, Manners and Taste in Clothing
It never hurts to tell your new friend on a first date that they look good. It never hurts to be polite and courteous. And it never hurts to dress appropriately for the occasion. However, telling your new friend how they should act, dress or present themselves is inappropriate. If you find yourself giving orders it is time to quickly recover from a dating mistake and change the subject. It is a lot better to ask, where did you find that interesting jacket rather than to say that is a really ugly jacket! If you really just insulted your new friend’s taste in clothing apologize and do it right now or you may be finishing your cup of coffee at the corner coffee shop all by yourself while you really interesting new friend leaves in search of someone with good manners.
Better History and Hopes than Opinions
When searching for subjects for conversation on a first date, stick to who the two of you are and what your hopes are in life. Avoid voicing strong opinions or you may just insult your new friend without realizing it. If you do not know that you made it mistake it may be hard to recover from a dating mistake before they get up and leave. If your new friend seems uncomfortable there is nothing wrong with asking if you did or said something offensive or embarrassing. If they answer yes the best response is a heartfelt apology on the spot.
It Is Not Always Your Fault
There are people that we meet who have a script going on in their heads and we are simply not aware of it. If your new friend is comparing you to his or her ex you cannot stop that. But if he or she starts to criticize things that you have done and said and these were normal things it may be time to make and excuse and head for the door. After all, it is not always your fault when things go badly on a first date. And although you would really like a hot first date it might not be worth it if you end up with someone whose lifelong task is to criticize every aspect of your life.
And, never forget that flowers are always a good way to say I am sorry after a dating mistake.