Making Up Is Hard to Do goes the song title. Depending on what caused your fight it may be easy or difficult to get things back on track. There are times when doing nothing is the best choice and times when it is best to be proactive, buy flowers, sing love songs and more. And, there are, sadly, times when it is best not to make up but rather to move on. Here are a few of our thoughts about mistakes when making up.
Give Him or Her a Little Time
Some of us are compulsive fixers. If there seems to be a problem we are immediately looking for a solution. There are times when we get into fights, even in happy relationships. Many times your friend or spouse will think things through if you give him or her a little time. If you continually are trying to solve the issue you may just make him or her angrier. Give him or her a little time before jumping in to fix things. It may, in fact, be their fault and maybe, if you give them enough time they will understand that and you will not need to fix anything.
Hold Your Ground
It really may not be your fault. One of the big mistakes when making up is to assume that you always need to apologize, explain or be the first to say, I’m sorry. If you obviously did something wrong, say so and apologize. But if the issue is more complicated as arguments when dating often are, communication in relationships is your best route. Do not kill the discussion by immediately taking the blame when doing so makes no sense.
Be True to Yourself
One of the worst makes when making up is to accept psychologically or physically abusive behavior on the part of your partner. Sacrifice for love is a lovely idea but not when you are doing it for a lifetime because of your own poor self-esteem. Worst mistakes when making up are to continually be a caretaker. You end up always saying I’m sorry to someone who habitually manipulates you or expects you to always sympathize with their imagined troubles. If your new friend is always laying problems on your doorstep tell them to find a counselor and do not get into the habit of always making up. And beware of confusing the fact that you feel sorry for someone with being in love with them. Many feel good about helping others. Many young people feel more mature and proud of themselves when taking on such an adult-like role. But, if your new friend has significant health, mental health, or other issues it is absolutely OK to remain a friend and do not always make up and continue a sick relationship. You are a good and valuable person. Remember that and work toward solutions to relationship problems with that fact in mind. Then you will avoid a lot of mistakes when making up.