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Looking for Companionship

Looking for companionship is different from looking for a hot first date or for that matter looking for someone to marry. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines companionship.

Companionship: the good feeling that comes from being with someone else

If you are looking for companionship you are looking for a companion. A companion is someone that you hang out with. Your companion is your partner, your associate, your escort, your compatriot. Your companion is often your friend although not necessarily your lover or someone with whom you have a formal relationship. How does looking for companionship differ from looking for sex on one hand or looking for a committed relationship on the other?

Sexual Partners versus Companions

It is common to be lonely but not all that interested in having sex. It is also common that heterosexual men and women have friends of the same sex but lovers of the opposite sex. Companionship does not require a sexual bond. However, if you are looking for companionship you are looking for someone with similar interests, life experience or life situation. If you really like going to baseball games you want to go with someone who enjoys baseball. If you like to reminisce about your years in the military you probably want to hang out with someone who has also served in uniform. And if you are just starting college it makes sense to hang out with someone in your class and not a person with entirely different things going on in their life. And, if you are looking for companionship you want to find someone that you get along with.

Levels of Relationships

The road to a happy relationship starts with just getting to know someone. If the two of you hit it off you already have the basics of companionship. And if you are looking for companionship it is also possible that you are looking for a sexual relationship, someone to marry or simply a person with whom to have an occasional good time. If all you want is a companion that may be the happy relationship that you require. It may be that you are busy at work or that you have broken up after a painful relationship. If that is the case looking for companionship before anything else is a good idea.

The Beginning and the End

If all you want is some companionship but no sex and no long term committed relationship it is smart to let your new friend know from the beginning. And do not lie about what you want. It is unfair to lead someone on with promises when all you want is someone to hand out with. If your new friend wants something else he or she may hang on to a friendship with you but become increasingly depressed and angry. Do not be surprised if at some point he or she does not answer your phone calls, text messages or emails and simply moves on. Some people are great friends and companions for life and some want something more out of the relationship. Be clear about what you want and why you want it with your friend but especially with yourself.




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