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Just Good Friends

Think back to the first brush off by someone you were madly in love with. He or she said that the two of you were just good friends. Hopefully you do not still bear the scars from that sweet but painful definition of your first would be relationship. Think about these questions.

  • Can you date if you are just good friends with someone? – Dating when you are just best friends is a contradiction in terms. It never works out for you.
  • Is there ever a way to return from the dismal depths of being just good friends? – If there is, is the effort really worth it? Dating and finding someone you like should not be all that painful or difficult.
  • For that matter what is the best response to being told that the two of you are just good friends? – Here we are suggesting snappy responses instead of looking for a bridge to jump off of or a bottle of cyanide pills.

So, here are a couple of thoughts about being just good friends.

What He Or She Means By Being Just Good Friends

You are 14 and in love with the girl across the aisle in algebra class. You finally get up the nerve to ask her out to a movie. She gives you her best sisterly smile and says that although she really likes you the two of you can only be just good friends. Hopefully, you catch the part where she leaves school by the back door and jumps into the passenger seat of her 18 year old boy friend’s convertible on her way to a make out session. This part is painful but a necessary part of growing up.

If you are a 14 year old girl and madly in love with the boy next door he may suggest that the two of you are just good friends. You will live in hope that just good friends could turn into something more until you hear giggling in your sister’s bedroom and peek around the door. As your sister struggles to extract herself from the boy’s embrace and cover herself you are immediately, if painfully, cured of the just good friends curse.

What Is The Healthiest Response To The Just Best Friends Brush Off?

As we hinted above it is best to see just why the person is giving you the brush off. They usually have their own good reasons and it usually has to do with their liking someone else. He or she may say that it is all about him or her and not about you. Or he or she may say that they need some time to sort things out. This is the point at which you ALWAYS say it would be for the best and wish the person good luck in their life.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER decide that you need to rescue them. Think of all those saber tooth tigers, prehistoric horses, and other misfortunates who wandered too near the San Andreas tar pits, got stuck in the tar, and become fossilized. Your job in dating is to have fun, find someone to have fun with, and learn a bit about yourself. None of those things happen when you are trying to rescue someone who is obsessed with someone else or with their own problems. Practice saying goodbye, doing a military about face, and running for the exit whenever someone says that your relationship is simply that of just good friends.

Having friends is a great and necessary part of life. Just don’t confuse friends and romantic relationships when going out with someone.




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