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Is Online Dating Really Efficient?

Online dating has a lot of advantages over the traditional ways of meeting people. But, you can get overwhelmed by the number of online dating apps and the number of resumes you may need to sort through. Is online dating really efficient or is it just another way to waste our time?

A dear, and old, lady friend of mine grew up before our lives were full of so many electric appliances. She noted that when electric clothes dryers and modern electronic clothes washers were invented that the main selling point was they would save time and make life more convenient. The same was said over the years as each new model of electric appliance with more and more features came on line. Her opinion was that these devices seemed to make work at a faster rate than they speeded up work. This example came to mind the other day as I was thinking about all of the dating apps available, the time required to write a really good resume, or the need to find a professional photographer for a really good photo.

What Online Dating Does for Us

We have often likened online dating to speed dating. You get to meet a lot more people in a shorter amount of time. And, like with speed dating, your choices are narrowed by a preselected set of criteria. Certainly, if you have not been successful meeting anyone you like at work or in your current social circle, online dating lets you reach out beyond those boundaries in search of the love of your life.

Another positive for some folks when they date online is that they can take it as slowly as they want to, within reasonable limits. There can be a sense that your dating needs to turn into romance quickly in order to keep the other person’s attention. With online dating you can pretty much move as deliberately as you wish. You may lose an opportunity or two but you do not need to feel pressured to go beyond your level of comfort.

We have written about how dating apps kill the chances of mixed attractiveness relationships. But, this happens more often in the normal world of dating.

You will never know if the man or woman you are dating is really a reincarnation of Cyrano de Bergerac if you judge someone by their looks alone. A great feature of online dating is that you text back and forth, exchange emails, and exchange observations and thoughts. With the time spent getting to know each other before meeting face to face, there can be a better chance of seeing beauty in the other person that is not just skin deep.

Is Online Dating Really Efficient?

The downside to having a dating app, or two, or three, plus your regular online dating is that it turns into a lot of work. It can turn into a compulsion as well. Sometimes a person we have met needs to “grow on us.” This happens with repeated contact and with time. When the whole process is speeded up, there is no time for us to quietly consider this other person before the static of multiple new resumes to read, new persons to track with your app, and other features of busy dating apps drowns him or her out.

Your odds become too great that you will never recognize the person of your dreams because you will be so busy keeping up with the busy work of handling your dating site info and your apps.

Is There a Happy Medium?

Online dating is a useful way to meet people that you will probably like. It also can be a chore. The key to this dilemma is to allot a reasonable amount of time to your online dating efforts and a reasonable amount of time to going out socially with your friends. When a new friend demands all of your time and energy this is abusive. Don’t let that happen with the whole online dating process. Use online dating as a tool to find the right person and do not let the apps and dating sites take over your life and use you!

When you keep online dating in its proper context it is a great addition to your life. But, keep your boundaries clear with people you meet and the world of online dating!




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