When a young person starts to forget things a common comment is that they are “in love.” There is a lot of truth to this. When we are in love our thoughts always have to do with the object of our affection. But, let us take the contrarian approach and ask, is it love or just forgetfulness? Among the senior population it is common to suggest that any forgetfulness is probably Alzheimer’s disease. But seniors fall in love too. We wrote once about falling in love again. This can be shortly after a breakup or after years of living alone. And, for that matter, younger folks get distracted by the businesses of life as well. So, it may often be fair to ask, is it love or forgetfulness?
Is There A Point To This Discussion?
Our usual advice for finding the right person online is to be yourself, be honest and start by simply going out on a date to have a good time. When a person has just broken up there is always a risk of a rebound into an equally bad relationship. If you find yourself continually having daydreams about him or her you may have found the love of a lifetime. Or you may simply be acting out your fantasies and heading for another dating disaster. The point to all of this is that when you start day dreaming, dropping things or forgetting things it may be a sign of love or you may simply be overloaded with jobs and worries and be forgetful. Do not take the fact that you are forgetting things and thinking about your new found friend all of the time as proof positive that you are heading for a happy relationship. So, do not worry about if it is love or just forgetfulness. Go out on dates to have a good time and when the relationship is right you will know it.
If It Is Really Love
The other point is that if it is really love, enjoy it. Revel in it. And do something about it. Think about what you want and aim for it. Communication is key to strong relationships so talk and listen. Find things to do together that you both enjoy. Spend time together and simply enjoy each other’s company. If you are day dreaming about your new friend consider doing some of the things that you day dream about.
Liking Is Important
And beware of taking a relationship too far when you love the person but do not really like them. Love commonly includes sexual desire and, hopefully, sexual satisfaction. What love is not is needing someone to fill the hole left by our lack of self-esteem. Be careful not to confuse an emotional need with a loving relationship. We believe that we need sex and a person in our life. We give away too much of our own happiness in return for a person who may not be fulfilling our real needs. If this fits in your case, if you have to ask the question, can you love someone but not like them, you need to think seriously about your relationship and then sit down and have a talk with the person whom do not like but think that you love. We started by asking is it love or just forgetfulness. The point is to go out and have a good time and do not hurry things. That way you will know you love the person and the person loves you and you will come to like the person or find someone else.