We ran across an interesting article recently on Marie Claire about fidelity dating.
[W]hile Ashley Madison markets itself using the (now infamous) tagline, ‘Life Is Short – Have An Affair’, Fidelity Dating turns that on its head, advertising its services with ‘Love Is Precious – Stay Faithful’.
Of course, as nice as it sounds, there’s still no guarantee that users of Fidelity Dating won’t cheat. According to recent statistics, up to 80 per cent of us will be the victims of infidelity at some point in our adult lives [so] 80 per cent of us know just how important it is to be with somebody who you can trust.
This article started us thinking. What constitutes fidelity when you are first dating? Let us say that you are into online dating. You post our resume and get half a dozen promising responses. You would like a hot first date and are pleased when you have just that. Do you give the other five on your list the brushoff? What if the person who fulfilled your sexual fantasies is only interested in sex and not in developing a happy relationship? How do infidelity, dating and relationships fit together?
The Right to Fidelity in a Relationship
In life we commonly have to give something in order to get something in return. To deserve that the other person is faithful you should be faithful to them and there should be a relationship and not a single date. If the two of you had sex after a date or two it might be a good idea to talk about just why the two of you are getting together. If you both like having sex but are not ready to a commitment then make sure to use condoms and do not get too attached on an emotional level. If the two of you have been going steady for weeks of months and are talking about a life together then fidelity is a good idea. But what if one or the other cheats, not routinely but just once?
What Do You Want?
Your lover cheated on you and you found out. What do you do and what do they do? If you have become emotionally attached to a person and they cheat on you it is common to feel hurt, angry and depressed. You may want to hurt them just like they hurt you. But, if you spend too much time and effort trying to punish your cheating lover you may simply give him or her reason to walk away. This is the time to ask yourself just what you want out of the relationship. If things were good aside from the night of infidelity you may want to work towards patching things up. Communication is good for relationships so start talking. The part about communication is that it needs to be truthful, accurate and representative of your feelings. What you do not want is to forgive and forget and then find out that he or she is taking advantage of your gullibility and routinely cheating behind your back. In the end you need to be true to yourself or your relationship will never work out. Take care of yourself and tell the truth to your lover.