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How to Tell if You Should Cut off a Relationship

There are times when you are kissing on the first date and things heat up from there. But there are times when your relationship is stuck at that point. If all you want is a partner for having sex this is OK but most of us would like to move on to a more well-balanced relationship. So here you are having routine sex but otherwise bored. And there are times when you meet someone and things move along just fine until you find that you are becoming the care taker for a very needy person. Or how about when your new friend turns out to be psychologically or physically abusive. In all of these situations and more how can you tell if you should cut off a relationship?

Some girls find it exciting to be dating bad boys. But when can you know when to stop?

The typical bad boy might be a guy who rides a motorcycle, drinks, smokes, and hangs out with people that your parents would not publicly associate with. A bad boy may also like to live his own life by his own rules. That tends to get in the way of commitment and working on relationships. Dating bad boys like this either ends up with heartbreak or a lifetime of doing all of the emotional work of the relationship and hoping that he will eventually change. But why should he. Here may be the greatest danger in dating bad boys, giving yourself away to someone who is eternally self-absorbed and who will never really care about you.

When the flush of sexual attraction fades how do you feel about him? Are you afraid? Are you worn out and depressed? How to tell if you should cut off a relationship in this sort of situation is when you look past the excitement of the moment and realize that he has nothing else to offer and really wants to spend his time with his buddies bragging out his conquest of you.

Dating mistakes can devastating or they can be learning experiences. Last year we asked should you correct dating mistakes or just move on?

After you spent the evening at a candlelight dinner complaining about your “ex” your friend went home early and has not called since. Talking about your “ex” is a major dating mistake. The question is should you correct dating mistakes or just move on? How promising was the relationship. Do you really want to try again with person? Did you do too much damage to expect that you can fix things?

The same sort of advice applies here as with the bad boy scenario. When you put the dating mistake aside how do you feel about your friend? Are the two of you compatible? If this is really someone you like and your relationship has promise, try to patch things up. But if the mistake was cheating repeatedly on your friend it or them cheating on you it may well be best to cut things off and try with someone else.

We have written about how to avoid an abusive relationship. The problem here is part of the puzzle is you and your poor self-esteem.

Certainly there are a lot of warning signs that one can look out for in avoiding abusive relationships. But there are men and women who see the warning signs such as excessive control, punishing, etc. and remain in relationships. Unfortunately those of us with poor self-esteem can find ourselves in relationships that are abusive but not leave because we don’t believe that we deserve better.

If this picture applies to you it may be essential but still very difficult to cut off the relationship and you may need family or professional support.




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