Not all hot dates lead to ongoing relationships and not all relationships work out. Depending on how emotionally invested we are in a relationship it can be easy to difficult to move on when your friend leaves. This article is about how to move on when your boyfriend leaves you.
He Leaves without any Warning
It’s one thing if you have having problems in a relationship and you break up. But what if you think that things are going fine and he up and leaves? You will feel hurt and believe that you have been betrayed. This sort of breakup is more painful and potentially damaging than when you see it coming. This is because it threatens our self-esteem. Part of who we are is someone who is loved and cherished and part of a loving relationship. And then those parts of our self-esteem evaporate. How to move on when your boyfriend leaves you is more difficult when he leaves without any warning. What do you do?
Putting Yourself Back Together First
When he leaves without any warning the first thing to do is to take care of yourself. Don’t sit around wondering what happened. If you can find him ask him why. Call, email or send a letter. You deserve to know why. But be careful if what you hear is inaccurate or even hateful. It is bad enough that he left but you don’t need another attack on your self-worth.
Being sad and grieving is normal. Give yourself time to feel the normal emotions that go with losing someone what was an important part of your life. At the same time don’t hide. Do the normal things that you commonly do. The routine of an otherwise normal life helps put things in perspective and helps the healing.
If you always did things with your boyfriend start a new set of routines that include friends and family. Pick things to do that do not remind you of the schlub that just left. And talk to your friends and family about the relationship and how it broke up. Talking helps and your friends and family will help you regain perspective.
Before Dating Again
Depending on how you were together before he left it may take a short time or a long time to get him out of your head. But you need to understand in your heart of heart that he is not coming back and you need to be as clear as you can be about why it was that he left. The point is that you don’t want to make the same mistake again whether it was something that you did or just that you picked the wrong guy. Then start socializing in groups. This way there is no pressure to move too quickly but lots of chances to meet someone new. If communication was an issue work on your communication skills and if your self-esteem was the problem give yourself a break and learn to like yourself.