Most people go out on dates because they want to find someone that they like. Most folks would like a little sex, or maybe a hot first date and a lot of sex. And most folks would like to develop a relationship that includes friendship, love and having a life together. And sometimes people get stuck in a rut going out on date after date without moving on to the next step. Here are a few of our thoughts about finding that happy relationship and how to avoid being a serial dater.
What Is a Serial Dater?
This is our tongue-in-the-cheek term for people who continually date new people and never seem to arrive at a single satisfying relationship. This is not just about not getting sex, not getting married or not finding the love of your life. How to avoid being a serial dater is about the process! A serial dater is someone who starts out on the wrong foot and ends up being dissatisfied with the results, time and time again. Typically this person blames everyone but himself, or herself, for failure to progress beyond an endless series of first dates.
Online Dating Truth: How to Avoid Being a Serial Dater 1
When you post your resume on the online dating site remember that eventually you will meet the person who reads that resume. If you are fibbing about your age by five years it may not matter but if you are off by twenty years you will not get good results. Likewise, not telling the truth about your appearance, your interests or your work usually comes back to haunt you. Start out by telling the truth when you post your online resume.
Setting Reasonable Goals: How to Avoid Being a Serial Dater 2
Why are you dating? If you simply want to get out of the house and socialize make it clear when you meet someone that you really just want to get to know them and maybe move on to a friendship as time and circumstances allow. If what you want is sex on the first date remember that not everyone is comfortable with this approach and you may well be turn down, again and again. Think about if you want his or her body or his or her heart before you even open your mouth on your next date.
Loosen Up: How to Avoid Being a Serial Dater 3
If you are the boss at work or if you are the de facto manager of all things at home it may be difficult to shed the roll of boss when you go out on a date. Loosen up. You are going out with someone new and want to have a good time. Let your new friend lead the way. If you need to get him or her started make a suggestion or two and stand back. Trying too hard and trying to control things often comes from fear of being rejected or not loved. Remember that on a first date you do not need to prove anything and can just go out to have good time. You may find the change in approach and rolls refreshing and you may find that your next date results in a repeat date and more and more.