Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship can mean the difference between happiness and unhappiness, safety and serious bodily injury. The stabbing death of a young woman in Los Angeles, California, school cafeteria has been in the news lately. There were many cues preceding the murder of this young woman. Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship not only helps us avoid psychological trauma but physical assault and even death. Knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship usually starts with the person’s own self esteem. When we like ourselves and feel good about ourselves we tend to avoid situations and relationships that are psychologically and physically abusive.

It Is Possible To Avoid Abusive And Dangerous Relationships

In the case of the girl murdered by her boyfriend in Los Angeles the girl and her family complained to police days before about the boyfriend threatening the girl and her family. They reported the threats to the police but prosecutors did not act to press charges. But, there is typically a longer history to such dangerous relationships and knowing how to avoid an abusive relationship or get out of one can help avoid dangerous situations later on. Despite the sad outcome in this situation, reporting abuse, especially physical abuse and threats is basic to your safety and that of your family. Tell someone, especially someone in authority, and if they don’t listen tell someone else until someone listens and helps.

What Are Abusive People Like?

Abusive people are sick people. They don’t deal with their own problems but blame others instead. Abusive people are typically possessive and jealous of their girlfriend or boyfriend. They attempt to control all aspects of their girlfriend or boyfriend’s life and become angry at signs of independence. Because of their insecurity abusive people always need to be in charge and to be right. Such people are prone to mood swings and tend to bully and manipulate to get what they want. They punish those closest to them in order to maintain control while lying and cheating to get what they want. Abusive people don’t respect their partners and refuse to admit that they have any problem at all. These are all cues that will help for anyone wondering how to avoid an abusive relationship. Remember that your boyfriend or girlfriend likely has often had previous, failed, relationships because of how they act. Abusers search for people that they can control and have commonly hurt a lot of people along the way.

Abused People Often Grow Up To Abuse Others

The old saying that “the acorn does not fall far from the tree” can apply to abusive people. Sadly those who have been abused as children often learn the wrong lessons for the experience and grow to be abusive to others because that is all that they have seen.

How To Avoid An Abusive Relationship – Starting By Liking Yourself

Certainly there are a lot of warning signs that one can look out for in avoiding abusive relationships. But there are men and women who see the warning signs such as excessive control, punishing, etc. and remain in relationships. Unfortunately those of us with poor self-esteem can find ourselves in relationships that are abusive but not leave because we don’t believe that we deserve better. It is simple but believing that you deserve a good life helps you avoid abusive relationships. Doing things that you like to do with people who are supportive and kind gives you a safe place to go instead of back to someone who uses you as a psychological or physical punching bag. Avoiding or getting out of abusive relationships is not always easy. If you are in such a relationship find help. Talk to friends, clergy, parents, teachers, or anyone who will listen. And, remember that you are a worthwhile person who deserves a good life.