Maybe it was an intense romance starting with a hot first date. Maybe love was not enough to overcome your basic differences and rather than live in an abusive relationship you need to cut it off. Or perhaps he or she needs to return home to a foreign land. No matter why you are breaking up it can be painful, especially if your love is deep and sincere. How do you say farewell to someone you love? Red Typewriter discusses letting go when enough is enough.
Know when enough is enough. Maybe this someone has repeatedly disappointed you. Perhaps the relationship isn’t progressing the way you want, despite your best efforts to communicate. Perhaps you are putting more time and energy into the union than they are. The decision may be seem obvious to your head, but you’ve got to persuade your heart. The process often takes time, and it’s always painful.
When discussing how to cope with abusive relationships we noted that you need to love yourself first and foremost. It is OK to remember the good parts of a relationship and how good it made you feel. That is part of valuing yourself. And it is OK to remember when he or she did not treat you well. Trying to look at what happened from the outside is useful as it provides perspective. Think about what you would tell a friend if you saw that they were in your situation. Then allow yourself a period of mourning, sadness. And then move on.
When Separation is Permanent and No One’s Fault
You met a foreign student at university. You and he or she seemed to be soulmates. And then family responsibilities called your friend home. Perhaps there was an arranged marriage on the other end. In this case don’t blame yourself for falling in love if your feelings and those of your friend were genuine. But also don’t spend your life grieving over lost love. Before your friend leaves say goodbye and even write a letter expressing your feelings. Say your piece and then let go. You can certainly keep your fond feelings for your friend but don’t live in that fantasy your whole life. Say farewell and find an equally exciting and fulling relationship with someone who is not going away.
Perspective, Not Anger
The psychologist says that anger is your dignity. If the person you loved cheated on you and that is why you are saying farewell it is absolutely OK to be angry. The best way to deal with the anger is to express it by talking to the person or at least sending a message even if they do not read it. But there is always a reason why he or she cheated. Maybe they were a rat to begin with or maybe there was something missing in your relationship. Don’t fall into the trap of blaming yourself though. Look at what happened from the outside as though it was your friend who as cheated on and learn from experience. That, in this case, is the best way to say farewell to someone you loved who hurt you in the end.