Last week we wrote about how not to ruin a relationship. Our focus on things to avoid doing and focusing on making things work. And years ago we wrote than confidence wins in dating. That article focused on making a good first impression but the same advice works for keeping a relationship going.
If you are looking to succeed in finding that special someone remember that confidence wins in dating. Confidence wins in dating because men and women alike are drawn to self-assured people. No one is looking for a lot of drama in a partner. Rather someone who knows what he or she wants and goes about getting it quietly, in a businesslike manner, and successfully is attractive to both sexes. So, confidence wins in dating. How do I go about finding the confidence I need when asking that special someone out for a date? We are all familiar with the anxiety related to approaching someone we find attractive, fearing that whatever we say will sound stupid. Unfortunately too many people never dare to take that first step because the lack confidence in themselves.
First date jitters are not the only way that anxiety can ruin a relationship. GoodTherapy.org writes about how anxiety destroys relationships. The answers are paraphrased and shortened.
Anxiety breaks down trust and connection
Although we may be anxious about something specific the sense of anxiety tends to generalize. The result is that you cannot focus on your true needs and you are less connected to your partner. You partner may read your anxiety as not caring about them.
If this is happening to year learn to live in the present moment and calm yourself by taking a break before making any important decisions. And share your feelings with your partner so that they can help.
Anxiety crushes your true voice, creating panic or procrastination
When anxiety becomes all-encompassing it blocks out your true feelings. There is a tendency to deny what you are worried about and not act to fix things. Then when things get really bad panic sets in.
Talking about what you are worried about helps. It especially helps to talk to your partner and if the problem is really ruining your relationship seek out a professional for help.
Anxiety causes you to behave selfishly
We can be anxious about things that are not all that important and our ceaseless anxiety tunes out other things, other people. Keeping things in perspective helps keep anxiety from ruining your relationship.
Anxiety is the opposite of acceptance
Healthy anxiety is reacting to things that are wrong or dangerous. Unhealthy anxiety is generalized and incorrectly focuses on things that can just as well be ignored. Don’t let your anxiety tune out the good things and good people in your life.
Anxiety robs you of joy
A healthy life and a healthy relationship require happiness and joy. Perpetual anxiety can take that away. There comes a point when we need to ask what am I getting out of all this anxiety aside from grief? People with post-traumatic stress disorder get stuck in a neural pathway rut that keeps repeating bad and sad thoughts. If this is your story seek professional help.
And there is an upside because effectively dealing with your anxiety not only makes you feel better it will make you more present to your partner and strengthen your relationship.