You have met this interesting person on an online dating site and the two of you have decided to go out on a real face to face date. You are all dressed up and ready to go when you realize that your heart is beating fast and your palms are sweaty. You have first date nerves. How will you ever succeed with this nice person and develop a happy relationship if you go into panic mode the moment you meet face to face. Here are a few thoughts about first date nerves, how to avoid them and how to deal with them.
What Is The Worst That Can Happen?
The worst that can happen is that you fail to strike up a relationship with this new person and have to start again. That can happen no matter if you have first date nerves or are as cool as a cucumber. If you go into the date understanding that things may not work out you will not get hurt by the date not living up to your too-high expectations. After all this is a first date and not the performance of brain surgery. Nevertheless, there are ways to prepare.
Image a successful first date. Imagine sex on the first date. Imagine a first date in which you want to leave as soon as you meet this new person. In this case do not fantasize. Picture each of these three scenarios. See yourself, calm and collected, meeting up for a cup of coffee and a chat. Imagine that he or she finds you attractive and might want a little romance. And imagine that this person is irritating, loud and bossy. Work through each scenario with specific things that you will do or say. Remember this is not fantasy but imagining your success even if you get first date nerves.
Admit The Obvious
There is nothing wrong with saying “Hi, it’s good to meet you at last. I have to admit that I am really nervous. Your new friend may have the same feelings and be relieved that the two of you have at least one thing in common.
Plan Ahead And Keep On Track
First dates should be simple. Do not go to great lengths trying to impress someone whom you may not want to go out with again. Meet some place that is not threatening, not loud and not distracting. Have something to say and questions to ask. If this is someone you met online take another look at their resume. Likewise remember what your resume says as he or she may well want more info. If you follow the simple approach you may find out that a coffee shop date turns into several hours talking together. Or you may find that keeping it short as well as simple is the best way to deal with first date nerves. Save more of the conversation or more things to do for a later date. Nerves and dating are a common occurrence but you can make practical plans to deal with it.
Alcohol: Good and Bad
Having a beer or glass of wine to relax may be a good idea but two or more drinks may lead to disaster. Alcoholic drinks can be good to break the ice in social occasions and on first dates. But getting to point where you lose restraint, say something stupid or insult your new friend are deal breakers. If you need a drink, make in one and only one.