Think of online dating as a great way to meet and screen people. Finding the right person online is the first step. Finding the right person online may or may not lead to finding the right person to have a good time with and the right person to spend your life with. There are a few pitfalls associated with finding the right person online. Here are a few thoughts on the subject.
Do You Know What You Want?
When we are young we are full of energy and sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with meeting someone, getting to know them, and having a good time on a hot first date. There is nothing wrong with deciding later on that this is not the person that you want to continue dating or have a long term relationship with. Finding the right person online may start with meeting someone who is interesting and fun and later on have to do with finding a person that you want to sleep with every night and build a life with during the days of your life. What you want in the beginning may not be what you want later on and that is OK.
Beware Of Liars
So, you have decided that you want someone who is tall, thin, blond, and has blue eyes. You want someone who has a job, likes adventure, and is looking for a long term relationship. When trying to find the right person online beware of liars. It is all too common for people to fib a little and sometimes lie a lot. If your ideal person that you met online never wants to get together in person it may be because he or she is not the person in the image attached to their biography. The twenty something person who wants adventure may really be a forty something who uses fantasy as an escape from a life with a mortgage, six kids, a grumpy spouse, and a boring job. To the extent that you like fantasy dating this can be fun. But do not fall for a story that will leave you feeling sad and betrayed in the end.
Beware of Lying
You may feel betrayed when the tall, blond, blue-eyed person you met online arrives at the restaurant and is short with black hair and wants you to pick up the tab because he or she is looking for a good time for free and maybe a loan as well. But you may feel sadder when you lie about yourself and the person whom you were getting to like gets up and leaves. Do not set yourself up for failure. Finding the right person online should be the right person for you and not the right person for the fantasy you. When you are ready to focus on the relationship you do not want to have to backtrack and explain your lies.
Sleepers: You May Like Him (Or Her) Once You Start Dating
If you take a few common sense precautions like not meeting your new friend in a dangerous neighborhood in a dark alley at midnight, there is not a lot that can go wrong on a first date except maybe being disappointed. So Saturday night is coming and you have no plans. Your new friend on the internet suggests that the two of you go out to a coffee shop to meet and chat. Maybe you think that he or she seems boring when you chat on the internet. Remember that not everyone is comfortable with texting and chatting over the internet. Use a little common sense and have your Saturday night date. You may be surprised. There really are people who speak several languages and have visited numerous foreign countries and do not brag about the fact. There really are folks who have great jobs, lots of money, and are not snobs. And, there really are quiet people who are genuine, and fun to be with, and looking for someone to spend their life with. When finding the right person online do not immediately cull out the quiet ones. They may be sleepers and the best choices in the end.