We recently wrote about being afraid of commitment. But sometimes the issue with a stuck relationship is not being afraid of commitment but being afraid to be in love. What is being in love all about? Elite Daily writes about being in love versus loving someone.
Being in love is wanting to own a part of the other person. It’s believing this person is so wonderful that you want him or her to be a part of your life, a part of you. When you fall in love with a person, you feel an intense urge to consume that person in any way you can.
Being in love is believing you need someone in order to be happy.
When you love someone, you need this person.
You don’t just want – or rather, don’t only want – you need him or her. You need this person to live a happy and healthy life because your happiness literally depends on it.
You need him or her to be a part of your life in some way or another, not because you want to own a piece of this person, but because you want to give him or her a piece of yourself; loving someone is deeming him or her worthy of owning a part of you.
It isn’t about ownership; it’s about wanting only the best for that individual – something that often means letting that love go.
In short being in love involves giving up part of yourself in order to let someone else in. Being in love and learning to love are the beginnings of a long and happy relationship. So, if you want to be happy and have a long term satisfying relationship don’t be afraid to be in love.
Being in Love versus Being in Love with the Idea of Being in Love
When a young girl watches a romantic movie or reads a romance novel it can be very easy to fall in love with the idea of being in love. There is no specific person but the idea of being in love is compelling. However, that same person may not be willing to give up her view of the world, her independence or her own thoughts and dreams when she meets someone. Thus she is in love with the idea of being in love but not ready to be in love. Being in love means giving up part of yourself in order to be with that other special person. Being in love is a step from singleness to being part of a couple. Once you are successfully in love the next step is learning to love the other person and to accept their love in return. It is the journey to a lifetime relationship. And remember that a happy relationship should not be all work.
In bringing up the subject of a happy relationship you will notice that we did not ask, “Does your boyfriend make you happy.” We did not ask, “Does your girlfriend do things to make you happy?” A happy relationship depends on both persons. A happy relationship is not all work and it is never, never, NEVER the sole responsibility of one person. When dating someone it should be fun. We go out on dates to have a good time. We want to date people who are fun to be with, funny, and generally nice persons.