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Does Dishonesty Get You Anywhere in Online Dating?

We ran across another article that explains online dating terms and got to thinking about kitten fishing. Does dishonesty really get you anywhere in online dating? The Evening Standard explains modern dating terms including catfishing and kitten fishing.

Kitten Fishing

The term is essentially one step on from catfishing – which is when online daters pretend to be someone they’re not. Kittenfishers, on the other hand, use out of date or misleading pictures to lure in potential partners – presenting themselves in an unrealistic light. This can involve anything from Photoshopping away tell-tale wrinkles and saying you’re a few inches taller to selecting pictures from several years ago that look nothing like the present day you. And when it comes to writing a bio, a kittenfisher will deliberately talk up their accomplishments or sparkling personality over the app, in the hopes of bagging a date with a white lie or two.

Whether your goal is a hot first date or you are taking the first step toward a happy relationship you will probably fail if the first time you meet your new friend they realize you have been lying. We wrote about if your dates always go badly and some of that advice may apply here.

The ideal date is with someone who is interesting, fun to be with, sexy, and perhaps, wealthy. Unfortunately, and all too often, the person you are dating meets none of these criteria and things work out badly. If this happens from time to time it may simply be that the person who introduced the two of you didn’t get it. It may be that the person that you met online lied in his or her resume. It may be that this person was dull, sexless, and poor before the two of you met and will remain the same for his or her whole life. But, what if your dates always go badly? Maybe it is time to look at how you approach the process of dating if your dates always go badly.

In the instance of kitten fishing perhaps you should just be truthful and see how that works out. Of course if you are simply into online dating fantasy then it may work out to post lies in order to keep the conversation alive. Unfortunately there is no real future for you in the real dating world!

What If You Date a Kitten Fisher?

It may be that Mr. Kittenfisher is so insecure about himself that he tells lies to improve his self-esteem. In our article about being insecure in online dating we noted that trusting yourself is the key both for the insecure person and for their partner.

 In the end you are responsible for the results of your own decisions. So why not start making your own decisions and stop worrying about perfectionism. If you like someone go out with them and get to know them. They do not need to be perfect because you are not perfect either. And there is good evidence that spending time together lets us learn what is important about the other person and ignore the superficial. And once you find an interesting person spend time with them and stop looking online for someone else. Even if your new friend does not seem perfect he or she may be the best choice as we noted in our article about mixed-attractiveness relationships.

Being honest often works. If you like the guy, despite the fact that he used a lot of white lies in his resume, tell him. And tell him that the truth may win your heart but that continuing with the lies will end a promising relationship.




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