Sometimes we make dating a lot more difficult than it has to be. It starts with giving and getting excessive advice on how to find someone and how to proceed. GQ offers their opinion on dating advice you should always ignore.
If you believe books, gurus, experts, dreary bloggers and, worst of all, your nightmare mates, dating is a modern minefield, just waiting to catch you out and blow your head off. Don’t say this, don’t do that – it’s a wonder we bother swiping right or chatting anyone up at all. But while some dating tips really do work – a total avoidance of politics and don’t assume a lick of the lips or a hand on the knee is a come-on being two of my favorites – quite a lot are simply bad advice.
Here are the lines of bad advice and our comments.
Wait a Few Days before Calling
If you went out on a date and the two of you had a great time he or she will be pleased that you are calling. And if your new friend wants nothing to do with you why not find out now. This is advice you should ignore.
Breaking Off by Text is Disrespectful
In long term relationships and marriage your partner deserves to hear it from you in person. If you have realized that you don’t want to continue with the person with whom you have had two dates it is probably OK in this electronic age to send a text message. But it should be to the point and truthful.
Everyone Loves Banter
There are times when we are up for putdowns and practical jokes and times when we would rather not. Don’t make your friend work too hard on a date.
Compliments Make You Look Sexist or Needy
An honest compliment is always appreciated. Dishonest compliments are basically putdowns. Beware of pickup lines that compliment sexual features. They are gross and don’t get you where you want to be.
Treat Them Mean
If you really believe this read what we have to say about avoiding abusive relationships.
Being Stylish Makes You Look Gay or At Least Unmanly
Bull! Dress well to make a great first impression. But dress for you and not how you think the other person wants you to dress.
Play Hard to Get
Play hard to get and you are likely not to be gotten. In general it is not a turn on to be ignored, put down or excessively teased. If you like the other person let them know and if not look for the exit.
You Will Meet Someone When You Least Expect It
Do you really think that when you are deer hunting in the North Woods, working late and alone on a project or hiking solo in the Rocky Mountains that you will find the love of your life? This is the point of online dating that you can increase your odds of success by posting your resume and making yourself available.
Don’t Have Sex on the First Date
Why not? Sex on the first date is a common fantasy and if things absolutely click between the two of you go for it. Just remember to bring condoms.