How tricky or even dangerous can dating be when you are over 30? This thought came to mind after reading an article in The Advertiser about do’s and don’ts for the over 30 crowd.
Dating can be tricky in our 30s.
Most of us have already established who we are as individuals. We know our likes and dislikes. We’re set in our ways and are not likely to change for another person. Some also have to deal with additional factors such as divorce or children, which can further complicate the situation.
If you are single and dating in your thirties, you have a story or two to tell about your situation. You may have been married and now divorced or widowed. You may never have been successful finding the right person. You may simply be happy living a solo life. In each case dating can be dangerous when you are over 30. Here are a few thoughts on the subject.
Divorced and Dating Again
Just a couple of weeks ago we wrote about how to soon to date after a divorce.
A sad fact of life is that relationships often fail and unhappy marriages lead to divorce. Sometimes divorce is the best choice when a marriage does not work out. But we all need companionship and especially so after a divorce. The question is how soon to date after a divorce? There are several factors that dictate when it is wise to date after a divorce and when it is smart to wait a while. The first issue is the dreaded rebound.
In short it can be dangerous dating when you are over 30 and just divorced.
Lots of Dates and No Success
If you have been actively dating and are still single in your 30’s there is a least on reason. Sometimes a person focuses on successful dating as in how to have a hot first date and ignores how to proceed to a relationship. Several years ago we wrote an article entitled, Beware of Being a Dating Professional.
If you develop a professional expertise at dating it can be a problem. Beware of being a dating professional. After all, the point of going out is to develop a relationship with someone. If you become too skilled at getting what you want, like frequent sex, in dating you likely are having issues with moving on to a relationship. Beware of being a dating professional because dating professionals don’t end up in strong and healthy relationships. Beware of being a dating professional because in the end everyone else moves on and you are left at the bar, alone.
It is dangerous dating when you are over 30 if you are too effective at getting sex and not moving into a satisfying long term relationship.
The Danger Might Be In Succeeding!
There are men and women who are perfectly happy living single lives. They find satisfaction in their work, recreation and pool of friends. Perhaps their work would make it hard to maintain a relationship and they have created a life that satisfies without having someone else in their life every day. For these few folks the danger of dating when they are over 30 is that they might get tricked into a relationship that will not work for them!