There is good dating and relationship and there is bad dating and relationship advice. Having recently watched one of the many remakes of Cinderella on cable I want to remind you to beware of the Prince Charming fallacy. I am not talking about little girls dreaming of meeting the man of their dreams. Rather I am talking about dating advice to the effect that you should wait to find your soulmate before having a serious relationship. The fact of the matter is that when you begin a relationship you begin creating a soulmate relationship as well. If you believe that there is still someone perfect out there waiting, you will never enter into a satisfying relationship and never be happy with what you have. Beware of the Prince Charming fallacy.
Do You Really Want to Marry a Prince?
We wrote this when Prince William and Kate Middleton got married. Marry a Prince:
A common dream of a young woman is to marry a prince. Now the world is waiting to watch a royal wedding. Prince William, second heir in line to the throne of England, and Catherine Middleton will exchange vows at Westminster Abbey on Friday, April 29. This ancient church is the site of the wedding of William’s father to the late Diana Spencer and also the site of the funeral of the “people’s princess.” Many young women will be watching the ceremony and perhaps wondering if they have a change to marry a prince.
First of all do you really want to marry a prince? Many believe that Diana Spencer would have lived a perfectly happy life without ever being the Princess of Wales and wife to the heir to the throne of England. On the other hand being a princess could be very exciting. You get to dress up every day and there is a lot of attention. When you marry a prince you and he are constantly in the spotlight and people are always attending to your every need.
The down side of marrying a prince or princess is the expectations you place on your spouse and those that he or she place on you. Beware of the Prince Charming fallacy that they lived happily ever after. The fact of the matter is that relationships are about communication and work.
When looking for someone to spend your life with remember that communication leads to lasting relationships. Communication is important in finding that special someone and in avoiding or dealing with conflict. Communication leads to lasting relationships because it makes life with that special someone more fulfilling and enjoyable.
The person you met on the internet may be attractive and even wealthy. But, does he or she talk to you? Is he or she funny? When he or she does talk is it in communication or complaints, orders, and/or boring details of the past that you hear? Communication is a two way street. Give and take are the basics of good communication. When looking for someone to spend your life with look for a person who talks to you and listens to you, not someone who lectures or talks as though you were not there.
Prince Charming had better know how to communicate or the two of you are going to regret the Prince Charming fallacy.