We would like our relationship with that special someone to last forever. But, more often than not, hot first dates do not lead to lasting relationships. And can seem like a good idea to share a nude photo of yourself to tempt that special someone into your arms and a more enduring relationship. Our take on this strategy is that it virtually never works out the way that you had hoped. So, beware of sharing nude photos. The best that you can hope for is that the person is not interested and deletes your photo. A more likely occurrence is that he or she will share you nude photo with friends, Facebook friends, and everyone who “likes” their blog. If your relationship does not end well you may end up being the victim of revenge porn in which the other person wants to hurt you and never stops sending your nude photo out for the entire world to see. We ran into an example of this sort of thing on the web.
The Telegraph writes about teenage girls and revenge porn.
Teen girls have either been tricked into sending nude images to boys, or found that an image received in good faith had accidentally got into the wrong hands only to be shared around their whole social group.
Under the legal definition, this is revenge porn.
It’s hard to know to what extent this is happening in the UK, as many of these girls would never report the incidents to the police or even view it as a crime. Instead they see it as ‘sexting gone wrong’, and just another humiliating part of school life. They aren’t even shocked when it happens, instead as one girl tells me: “You just wait for it to die down and happen to someone else.”
The problem is not just the ease of taking and sending photos via the internet. The problem is the belief of the girl that she has no choice if she wants a close relationship or even a decent social life.
Jon Brown, head of sexual abuse services at the NSPCC, tells me: “It does appear to be increasingly common, even to the point of being ubiquitous. It’s worrying. Girls feel they have little choice but to do it. They feel they’re in a lose-lose situation. They’re either ‘sluts’ or ‘not up for it’.
The bottom line is that these are abusive relationships from start to stop. The cure is learning to avoid such relationships. That has to do with self-esteem.
Abusive Relationships and Low Self-Esteem
Years ago we wrote about how to avoid an abusive relationship.
Certainly there are a lot of warning signs that one can look out for in avoiding abusive relationships. But there are men and women who see the warning signs such as excessive control, punishing, etc. and remain in relationships. Unfortunately those of us with poor self-esteem can find ourselves in relationships that are abusive but not leave because we don’t believe that we deserve better. It is simple but believing that you deserve a good life helps you avoid abusive relationships.
It can be difficult, especially for teenage girls, to believe that they are worthwhile in the absence of sex but it is the key to avoiding abusive relationships. Remember about abusive relationships when a guy that you know asks for a nude photo.