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Lucelly Marin has been a member since March 30th 2011, and has created 584 posts from scratch.

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What Should a Hispanic Girl Do to Meet a “Gringo”?

Sometimes the search for a more interesting, more prosperous, and freer life, and life companion, takes us to places far from where we were born. And sometimes the opportunity to meet that special someone and find a different life can start closer to home. These thoughts occurred while wondering, what should a Hispanic girl do to meet a gringo? For those who are not familiar with the term, here is a synopsis.

What Is a Gringo and Why Would You Want to Meet One?

In Latin America the term gringo means someone (male, as a gringa is a female) who is not Hispanic. This person is typically from the United States or Canada but can also be British, Irish, Australian, or someone from Europe. The usual assumption is that gringos are rich. To the extent that poor people don’t travel much, the arrival of a fair-skinned Canadian, “Estado Unidiense” (“United Statesian”, because all of the folks in the Americas are American), Brit, or European in a Latin American country implies a wealthy traveler. This person is either on vacation or doing business in Latin America.

Why a Hispanic girl would want to meet such a person is because he is probably interesting and possibly wealthy. Other reasons may be that the girl has heard that gringos treat women differently that the men do back home. This part, the interesting part, and certainly the wealthy part, are often not the case!

Nevertheless, a Hispanic girl wants to meet a gringo. What does she need to do?

Where the Gringos Are

A Hispanic girl could go to the USA, Canada, or Europe to meet a gringo but there are issues of visas, cost of travel, and the fact that in those places there are lots of “gringas” as competition. If she wants to meet a nice gringo man, a better place might be where gringo men show up alone. One such place is Panama where gringos often come to do business, spend a few months when it is cold up North, or retire. A good idea when Hispanic girl wants to meet a gringo is find where these folks congregate in the Spanish speaking world and go there. There is not the problem of trying to function in a country where she does not speak the language. And, she has a way to create and maintain a friendship with someone who will find her command of Spanish useful.

An Example: Panama, Panama

If a Panamanian girl or Hispanic girl from a neighboring country such as Colombia wants to meet gringos, the best place is the capital city which is also Panama. (Like New York, New York it is Panama, Panama).

Where the Gringos Hang Out

There are lots of yachts anchored in Panama and many of them are owned by gringos. The Amador Causeway connects three islands on the coast by Panama City and can be a place to meet gringos. The Balboa Yacht Club has a small restaurant where gringos can be found in the evenings, especially on weekends. Other places such as major hotels like the Marriott, Sheraton, and Hard Rock Hotel are places where well to do gringos hang out.

What Should a Hispanic Girl Do To Meet a Gringo?

Knowing where to find a gringo is one thing but meeting one, and not giving the wrong impression, is the next step. There are, surprise, surprise, gringos who come to Panama in order to have drink, gamble, and have sex away from home. But, there are bars and other locations where a lot of scantily clad women arrive to pick up men so it is not hard to spot such locations or guess the intent of the men there. On the other hand, places like the yacht club, restaurants on the causeway, and many other gathering places are spots where a Hispanic girl might meet a gringo who, in fact, might like to meet a Hispanic girl.

So, dress up, practice a few words of English, and got out looking for gringos. And, course, you one of your girlfriends has a gringo boyfriend, ask to be introduced to his friends!

What to Expect When Dating a Gringo

Years ago we wrote about what a Hispanic girl should expect when dating a gringo. Here are some thoughts from that article. Follow the link if you want to read all of it.


Men who travel to a country like Panama from the USA or Canada may or not be rich but they are typically more adventurous than their friends who stayed back in Chicago or Toronto. These guys tend to be friendly and outgoing. Because they carry credit cards and pay with “plastic” they may seem rich but they may also be deeply in debt.


A big issue is if he speaks any Spanish or if you speak any English. Learning a few words of his language is a good idea and even using you smart phone to pull up “Google Translate” can make it easier to communicate. Bringing a friend who is bilingual helps with translations, but will get in the way if the two of you want more intimacy.


There are times when a “Norte Americano” is doing things that are well-mannered and polite in his culture but are not well-mannered in Latin American culture. This will especially be the case when he only knows a few words of Spanish and does things like using the present sense of the verb “to be” (estar) to say that you are beautiful or intelligent, not knowing that he may be insulting you by not using the permanent form (ser). In such cases, give him a break. He is really trying and is a long way from home.

But there are rude and thoughtless people in all cultures. When your new gringo friend gets drunk and starts a fight, or makes demands that are inappropriate, call a taxi and leave.

Hot First Date

A hot first date is not the usual case in the USA or Canada despite what we may see in the movies. On the other hand, when two people are comfortable with each other and the situation seems appropriate, just make sure to bring condoms in case he forgot or did not know where to buy them in a foreign city. In the USA and Canada, when a girl says “no” it means no just like it does in Latin America. If your gringo friend thinks differently, find another.

Age, Intent, Availability

A lot of gringo men who show up in Panama, and other Latin American cities, are in their 40s, 50s, and older. They have probably been married before and they may have money in the bank. But, do they want a new relationship? A guy like this will probably welcome having a Latina friend and even a bit of intimacy, but if his marriage was not happy and the divorce was painful, it may be hard to get him past the dating part.

Or you might meet someone who is the perfect guy. He likes you a lot and you think he is wonderful. But he still has a business in the USA and can only come to Panama, Cartagena, or San Jose once or twice a year and only for a couple of weeks. Don’t give up on him right away, but if the schedule does not change you need to decide if happiness for a couple of weeks a year is what you really want.

¿Qué falta en la experiencia de citas en línea?

Las citas en línea se han vuelto cada vez más populares, especialmente con la introducción de muchas “aplicaciones de citas en línea” que hacen que sea mucho más fácil conocer o descartar a alguien en tu vida de citas. Aparte del hecho de que algunas aplicaciones de citas en línea pueden ser peligrosas y resultar en delitos de citas en línea, ¿qué falta en la experiencia de citas en línea? Y, ¿cómo puede agregar lo que le falta a su vida para tener una experiencia completa?

Nunca conociendo a la persona adecuada

Cada vez más en la vida moderna, nuestras opciones están influenciadas o simplemente hechas por un programa de computadora “inteligente”. Esto incluye su fuente de noticias favorita que solo le muestra noticias que “piensa” que quiere ver o que rastrea todos sus movimientos y toma decisiones incesantemente por usted. Siempre nos estamos perdiendo de una gran variedad de vidas en estos días cuando dejamos que la computadora haga las selecciones por nosotros. Y, eso incluye citas en línea.

Hace un par de años escribimos sobre cómo las aplicaciones de citas han matado las relaciones de “atractivo mixto”. Alguien a quien realmente nos gustaría y alguien con quien podríamos haber tenido una relación fantástica y la vida nunca logrará el corte cuando nuestra primera decisión es deslizar el dedo hacia la izquierda en lugar de hacia la derecha en una aplicación de citas. Este es el dilema de Cyrano de Bergerac donde la líder poética, atlética e intuitiva nunca llega a salir con la chica porque está enfocada en la cara aburrida pero bonita con los hombros anchos. Llegar a conocerlo puede ser reemplazado por una decisión apresurada y asistida por computadora, y nunca conocerá a la persona de sus sueños.

¿Qué pasa con las feromonas?

Hace años preguntamos, ¿es amor o feromonas?

Cuando estamos “enamorados” por primera vez, generalmente es atracción sexual. Este es el mundo de las feromonas. No es lógico pero, hasta cierto punto, funciona. Tendemos a ser sexualmente atraídos por personas con características útiles. Por ejemplo, las mujeres suelen sentirse atraídas por hombres que tienen características de ser buenos protectores y buenos proveedores. Los hombres tienden a sentirse atraídos por mujeres con características de fertilidad. Es con el tiempo que la fuerza de la atracción sexual es probada por las realidades de la vida cotidiana. Un hombre puede ser un verdadero semental, pero ¿trae a casa un cheque de pago? Una mujer puede ser increíblemente sexy, pero ¿está interesada en un solo hombre?

Existen los asuntos habituales sobre quién prepara las comidas y quién los platos, cuántos hijos tener, dónde vivir y cómo tratar con los suegros. Aunque las feromonas pueden mantenernos sexualmente interesados en nuestra pareja, son de poca utilidad para desarrollar el tipo de vínculo fuerte y duradero, o amor, que mantiene a las parejas unidas durante toda la vida. ¿Es amor o feromonas? Pregunta a tus amigos y escucha lo que dicen.

La desventaja de las feromonas es que podemos terminar con alguien que nos excita sexualmente, pero que por lo demás es un fracaso. Por otro lado, este es un caso extremo. Más a menudo, nos sentimos más atraídos por una persona que por otra y ambos son opciones igualmente buenas. Lo que falta en la experiencia de citas en línea es este nivel básico de atracción humana. Cuando pasas a la izquierda en lugar de a la derecha en la aplicación de citas, nunca conocerás a la persona que sería la mejor elección sexual de tu vida, además de ser un compañero perfectamente adecuado para construir y mantener una relación.

¿Cómo puede arreglarlo?

La primera parte buena de las citas en línea es que puedes elegir entre muchas personas. Lo malo es que muchos de ellos mienten sobre sí mismos y es muy fácil perder a una buena persona debido a un currículum vitae u otros factores. Lo que puede hacer es pasar rápidamente de una reunión y enviar mensajes de texto en línea a una cita cara a cara en la “cafetería”. Conocer a alguien cara a cara es importante y resolverá muchos de los problemas del currículum. Y, en la medida en que las feromonas son importantes, las tendrá cuando estén juntas y no cuando envíe mensajes de texto de ida y vuelta.

What Is Missing from the Online Dating Experience?

Online dating has become increasingly popular, especially with the introduction of many “online dating apps” that make it so much easier to meet, or discard, someone in your dating life. Aside from the fact that some online dating apps can be dangerous and can result in online dating crimes, what is missing from the online dating experience? And, how can you add what is missing back into your dating life in order to make the experience complete.

Never Meeting the Right Person

More and more in modern life, our choices are influenced by or simply made by a “smart” computer program. This includes your favorite news source that only shows you news that it “thinks” you want to see or that tracks your every move and incessantly makes your decisions for you. We are always missing out on a lot of variety in life these days when we let the computer make selections for us. And, that includes online dating. A couple of years ago we wrote about how dating apps have killed “mixed attractiveness” relationships. Someone whom we would really like and someone with whom we might have had a fantastic relationship and life will never make the cut when our first decision is to swipe left instead of right on a dating app. This is the Cyrano de Bergerac dilemma where the poetic, athletic, intuitive leader never gets to date the girl because she is focused on the dull but pretty face with broad shoulders. Getting to know him or her can get replaced by a hasty, computer-assisted decision and you never get to know the person of your dreams.

What about Pheromones?

Years ago we asked, is it love or pheromones?

When we are first “in love” it is usually sexual attraction. This is the world of pheromones. It is not logical but, to a degree, it works. We tend to be sexually attracted to people with useful characteristics. For example, women are commonly attracted to men who have characteristics of being good protectors and good providers. Men tend to be attracted to women with characteristics of fertility. It is with time that the strength of sexual attraction is tested by the realities of everyday life. A guy may be a real stud but does he bring home a pay check? A woman may be incredibly sexy but is she interested in just one man? There are the usual matters of who makes the meals and who does the dishes, how many children to have, where to live, and how to deal with the in-laws. Although pheromones may keep us sexually interested in our partner they are of little use in developing the sort of strong and lasting bond, or love, which keeps couples together for a lifetime. Is it love or pheromones? Ask your friends and listen to what they say.

The down side to pheromones is that we can end up with someone who turns us on sexually but is otherwise a dud. On the other hand, this is an extreme case. More often, we find ourselves more highly attracted to one person than to another and both of them are equally good choices. What is missing from the online dating experience is this basic level of human attraction. When you swipe left instead of right on the dating app you will never meet the person who would be the absolutely best sexual choice of your life as well as a perfectly suitable partner in building and maintaining a relationship.

How Can You Fix This?

The first good part of online dating is that you get to choose from a lot of people. The bad part is that many of them lie about themselves and it is too easy to miss out on a good person because of a poor resume or other factors. What you can do is move quickly from meeting and texting online to a face to face “coffee shop” date. Meeting someone face to face is important and will resolve a lot of the issues of resume lies. And, to the extent that pheromones are important, you will have them when you are together and not when texting back and forth.

¿Por qué es difícil pasar de una aplicación de citas a una cita real?

Las citas en línea pueden hacer que sea más fácil conocer gente y decidir si la persona que conocimos en línea es alguien a quien queremos ver en persona. Las aplicaciones de citas especializadas simplemente han hecho este proceso más eficiente. Pero, algunas personas están atrapadas en la aplicación de citas, enviando mensajes de texto de ida y vuelta, sin salir nunca en una cita “real”. ¿Qué está haciendo en estos casos? ¿Por qué es difícil pasar de una aplicación de citas a una cita real?

Razones por las que la gente no pasa de las aplicaciones a las citas reales

Las razones cortas y dulces por las que la gente se queda estancada en una aplicación de citas “Día de la Marmota” es que se han quemado demasiadas veces en el mundo de las citas o piensan que lo harán. El Washington Post en su columna, Solo-ish, ofrece 5 razones por las que las personas que envían mensajes en las aplicaciones de citas nunca pasan a un encuentro cara a cara.

Con frecuencia escucho de hombres y mujeres en las aplicaciones de citas que están frustrados de haber terminado como amigos por correspondencia, así que hablé con varias personas de la cita y un psicólogo para tratar de llegar al fondo de si las citas quieren ser amigos por correspondencia, o si es algo que sucede cuando intentas conocer a tu alma gemela pero estás demasiado cansado para ponerte los pantalones y salir.

Las cinco razones se reducen a estas:

  1. Nada más que hacer y los mensajes de texto de un lado a otro llenan las horas vacías
  2. La experiencia pasada fue que los grandes mensajes de texto no se convirtieron en una gran fecha.
  3. Problema a largo plazo con la inseguridad y conocer gente.
  4. Usar el juego de mensajes de texto para aumentar su ego.
  5. No creas que las citas en línea conducen a relaciones satisfactorias

El primero de sus motivos nos recuerda a las citas de fantasía. Esto no es realmente una cita. Es un juego.

Hay todo tipo de juegos de citas de fantasía en línea para elegir. Pero, si juegas un juego de citas de fantasía, ¿estás aprendiendo a salir o vivir una fantasía? Hasta cierto punto, las citas de fantasía son como niñas pequeñas que juegan con muñecas. Es jugar actuando en la vida real y hacerlo en preparación para lo real. Las citas de fantasía por adultos son comúnmente solo una fantasía y no deben confundirse con el trabajo útil que realizan los niños para prepararse para la edad adulta. Si eres un devoto de las citas de fantasía, asegúrate de que entiendes que lo que estás haciendo es jugar y no participar en la realidad.

No hay nada de malo en jugar el “juego de mensajes de texto”, siempre y cuando no te engañes pensando que realmente estás haciendo esto para encontrar una persona, enamorarte, desarrollarte y relacionarte, y pasar toda la vida juntos. El número cuatro es similar, pero en este caso la persona probablemente sabe exactamente lo que está haciendo. Desafortunadamente, probablemente terminarán saliendo mucho siempre ser insatisfecho y triste.

Los números dos y cinco son similares. En cada caso la persona se quemó. O bien fue una mala primera cita o las citas no salieron bien. En estos casos, tenemos que preguntarnos sobre los currículos que publicaron estas personas y sus opciones de personas para enviar mensajes de texto. La ventaja de las citas en línea es que puede ayudarlo a elegir con mayor eficacia a la persona adecuada y evitar perder su tiempo. La respuesta a este problema es volver al punto uno, volver a escribir su currículum y tomar mejores decisiones la próxima vez.

El problema de la inseguridad probablemente no se limita a la vida de una persona. Debe tratarse porque, además de hacer que sea más difícil encontrar a alguien y formar una relación, la inseguridad también puede arruinar una relación. Si sus inseguridades son menores, se pueden resolver poniéndose en situaciones en las que encontrará éxito y menos inseguridad. Si el problema es más profundo, entonces probablemente se necesite ayuda profesional.

Why Is It Difficult to Move from a Dating App to a Real Date?

Online dating can make it easier to meet people and easier to decide if the person we met online is someone whom we want to see in person. Specialized dating apps have simply made this process more efficient. But, some folks are stuck in the dating app, texting back and forth, mode without ever going out on a “real” date. What is doing on in these cases? Why is it difficult to move from a dating app to a real date?

Reasons Why Folks Don’t Move from Apps to Real Dates

The short and sweet reasons that people usually get stuck in a dating app “Groundhog Day” are that they have gotten burned too many times in the dating world or they think that they will. The Washington Post in their column, Solo-ish, offers 5 reasons people who message on dating apps never move on to a face to face encounter.

I hear so often from men and women on dating apps who are frustrated that they’ve ended up as pen pals, so I spoke with several daters and a psychologist to try get to the bottom of whether daters want to be pen pals, or if it’s just something that happens when you’re trying to meet your soul mate but you’re too tired to put on pants and go out.

The five reasons boil down to these:

  • Nothing else to do and texting back and forth fills the empty hours
  • Past experience was that great texting did not turn in a great date
  • Long term problem with insecurity and meeting people
  • Using the texting game to boost their ego
  • Don’t believe that online dating leads to satisfying relationships

The first of their reasons reminds us of fantasy dating. This is not really dating. It is a game.

There are all sorts of online fantasy dating games to choose from. But, if you play a fantasy dating game, are you learning about dating or living a fantasy? To an extent fantasy dating is like little girls playing with dolls. It is play acting real life and doing so in preparation for the real thing. Fantasy dating by adults is commonly just fantasy and should not be confused with the useful work that children do in preparing for adulthood. If you are a devotee of fantasy dating make sure that you understand that what you are doing is playing and not engaging in the real thing.

There is nothing wrong with playing the “texting game” so long as you do not fool yourself into thinking that you are really doing this in order to find a person, fall in love, develop and relationship, and spend a lifetime together. Number four is similar but in this case the person probably knows exactly what they are doing. Unfortunately, they will probably end up like a serial dater, alone and unfulfilled.

Numbers Two and Five are similar. In each case the person got burned. Either it was a bad first date or the dating did not turn out well. In these cases, we have to wonder about the resumes these folks posted and their choices of folks to text with. The advantage of online dating is that it can help you more effectively pick the right person and avoid wasting your time. The answer to this problem is to go back to square one, rewrite your resume, and make better choices next time.

The issue of insecurity is probably not limited to a person’s dating life. It needs to be dealt with because, aside from making it harder to find someone and form a relationship, insecurity can ruin a relationship as well. If your insecurities are minor they can be dealt with by putting yourself in situations where you will find success and less insecurity. If the problem is deeper, then professional help is probably needed.

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