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About Lucelly Marin

Lucelly Marin has been a member since March 30th 2011, and has created 569 posts from scratch.

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Do You Need to Make More Money Than She Does for the Relationship to Work?

This article is about why men find it difficult to deal with a smart, successful and independent woman. There are some basic facts about internalized expectations that follow men (and women) from childhood into adult life and these expectations can torpedo an otherwise promising relationship. To be more precise, do you need to make more money than she does for the relationship to work?

Boys are raised to compete, win and be in charge. This happens at home, in school, and especially in the world of sports. Men have pretty much always been expected to be hard workers and good providers for their spouse and children. Over the last few decades women have been asserting their rights and especially entering the workplace. Many women have gotten a higher education and have professional or high paying jobs in the business world. Nevertheless, men typically arrive at adulthood with the same set of internal expectations that they always have. A few months ago The Washington Post published an article looking at relationships from the viewpoint of the successful woman. She typically has a high paying job and earns more than her boyfriend. And, all too often, the relationship does not seem to progress to a more solid and permanent footing. According to the article men say they want smart, successful women but these women are having trouble dating and moving on to a solid relationship.

[There is one possible] explanation in the enduring pressure men feel to be providers, even in an era when, in about a third of married or cohabiting couples, women bring in half or more of the household’s earnings.

Until men can provide for a family, Birch finds, they don’t feel comfortable dating seriously or making a lifelong commitment.

And an extension of this argument is that even if a man can provide for himself and his wife, he will always believe that he is not doing is fair share if he is contributing the smaller part. So, does this ever work out or are all relationships with smart and successful women doomed to fail?

There Are Successful Relationships with Smart Women

The late Margaret Thatcher was married and was the Prime Minister of Great Britain. Angela Merkel is married and the current Chancellor of Germany! If these folks can make it work, you can too. But, on the other hand, is this the relationship you want?

What You Want versus What You Need in a Relationship

We recently wrote about if you know what you want in a relationship.

Years ago we wrote about getting the relationship that you want. But, do you know what you want in a relationship?

Getting the relationship that you want, starts when you begin online dating. Do you want a casual relationship, to be just good friends? Or do you want a hot first date to lead to an ongoing intimate relationship but without any serious obligations? Or, are you looking for a happy and satisfying relationship that lasts a lifetime?Getting the relationship that you want will probably not happen by chance. You need to think about what you want and then proceed in the manner most likely to give you what you want. And, remember that you may, in fact, progress through each of the three stages mentioned above. So, getting the relationship that you want may require a little more planning that just thinking about how to get sex on the first date.

So, knowing what you want in a relationship is important but how do you get to know what you want in a relationship. After all you start out without having had any romantic relationships and your only guides are your family, friends, and social contacts.

And this is often the problem with men who date smart and attractive women. The man starts with an idea of what he finds attractive and then finds out as the relationship proceeds that he does not want what he thought he did.

One sad fact about smart and successful people is that they are often very busy and they often derive a lot of pleasure from their work and achievements. This way of life makes it hard to develop and maintain relationships. People like Angela Merkel and Margaret Thatcher made it work by making space for their personal life amid the demands of their work. Some folks say that it is best if both of you are busy but that just means that neither of you has time for the other.

And, back to our original question. Do you need to make more money that she does for the relationship to work? If this is where you are stuck then you have not allowed the relationship to develop either because of lack of time or lack of effort. There is nothing wrong with deciding that you want a traditional marriage in which the man is the sole breadwinner. But then, you have not right complain about the smart, successful and beautiful woman got away from you.

¿Sabes lo que quieres en una relación?

Hace años, escribimos sobre cómo obtener la relación que quieres. Pero, ¿sabes lo que quieres en una relación?

Obtener la relación que desea, comienza cuando comienza citas en línea. ¿Quieres una relación casual, para ser solo buenos amigos? ¿O quieres una primera cita caliente para llevarte a una relación íntima pero sin obligaciones serias? O bien, ¿estás buscando una relación feliz y satisfactoria que dure toda la vida? Obtener la relación que desea probablemente no ocurra por casualidad. Debe pensar en lo que desea y luego proceder de la manera más probable para darle lo que desea. Y recuerde que puede, de hecho, progresar a través de cada una de las tres etapas mencionadas anteriormente. Por lo tanto, obtener la relación que desea puede requerir un poco más de planificación que simplemente pensar en cómo tener el sexo en la primera cita.

Entonces, saber lo que quiere en una relación es importante, pero ¿cómo progresas para saber lo que quiere en una relación? Después de todo, empiezas sin haber tenido ninguna relación romántica y tus únicos guías son tu familia, tus amigos y tus contactos sociales.

To Thine Own Self Be True

La verdad es que no comienza con otra persona y la relación. Comienza con usted. De eso se trata la cita de Shakespeare. Entonces, si simplemente desea socializar, haga eso y amplíe su círculo de amigos. Hay mucho que decir al salir con varias personas para tener una mejor idea de qué se trata la cita. Hace años escribimos un artículo, Das besos a veinte muchachos. El objetivo era obtener un poco de perspectiva sobre las relaciones y las citas antes de tomar la decisión de una vida.

Si quieres que el hombre de tus sueños y una relación que dura, bese a veinte chicos antes de hacer algo más serio en una cita o en una relación. No se trata de jugar o engañar a tu novio actual. Se trata de darse la oportunidad de comprenderse a sí mismo, a los niños y a las relaciones en lugar de comprometerse con una relación que simplemente podría fallar o dejarle una vida de remordimientos. Citas deben ser divertidas. ¿Es el primer chico que te invita a salir por la noche el mejor para ti? ¿Es que el primer niño a quien besas será divertido para ti en los años del futuro y será un buen padre para tus hijos?

Si quieres saber lo que quieres en una relación, es útil empezar cultivando más de una relación, pensando en lo que te gusta y lo que no te gusta y luego saliendo con personas que caen más en la categoría “me gusta” que en la que no me gusta. Y cuando te valoras ante todo, tampoco te venderás en corto ni caerás en una relación abusiva.

El resto de nuestros consejos en el artículo “veinte chicos” también es bueno. Mire a veinte mamás y papás para ver cómo funcionan las relaciones a largo plazo. Haga veinte viajes para ver el mundo y obtener una perspectiva de la vida y las relaciones a lo largo del camino. Y pruebe veinte cosas diferentes con sus nuevos amigos para ver cómo hacen ustedes dos fuera de las citas formales.

Do You Know What You Want in a Relationship?

Years ago we wrote about getting the relationship that you want. But, do you know what you want in a relationship?

Getting the relationship that you want, starts when you begin online dating. Do you want a casual relationship, to be just good friends? Or do you want a hot first date to lead to an ongoing intimate relationship but without any serious obligations? Or, are you looking for a happy and satisfying relationship that lasts a lifetime? Getting the relationship that you want will probably not happen by chance. You need to think about what you want and then proceed in the manner most likely to give you what you want. And, remember that you may, in fact, progress through each of the three stages mentioned above. So, getting the relationship that you want may require a little more planning that just thinking about how to get sex on the first date.

So, knowing what you want in a relationship is important but how do you get to know what you want in a relationship. After all you start out without having had any romantic relationships and your only guides are your family, friends, and social contacts.

To Thine Own Self Be True for the Relationship to Work

The truth is that it does not start with someone else and the relationship. It starts with you. That is what the quote from Shakespeare is all about. So, if you simply want to socialize, do that and widen your circle of friends. There is a lot to be said from dating several people to get a better idea of what dating is all about. Years ago we wrote an article, Kiss Twenty Boys. The point was to gain a bit of perspective on relationships and dating before making the choice of a lifetime.

If you want the man of your dreams and a relationship that lasts, kiss twenty boys before you do anything more serious on a date or in a relationship. This is not about playing around or cheating on your current boyfriend. It is about giving yourself a chance to understand yourself, boys, and relationships instead of committing to a relationship that might just fail or leave you with a lifetime of regrets. Dating is supposed to be fun. Is the first boy who asks you out for the evening the absolutely best one for you? Is the first boy whom you kiss the one who will be fun to be with over the years and a good father to your children?

If you want to know what you want in a relationship it helps to start out by cultivating more than one relationship, thinking about what you like and don’t like and then dating people who fall more into the like than the dislike category. And when you value yourself first of all you will also not sell yourself short or fall into an abusive relationship.

The rest of our advice in the “twenty boys” article is good too. Watch twenty moms and dads to see how long term relationships work. Take twenty trips to see the world and gain perspective on life and relationships along the way. And, try twenty different things with your new friends to see how the two of you do in setting outside of just formal dating.

Tener éxito en las citas aprendiendo a amarte primero

Has salido en citas y no recibes ninguna repetición. ¿Qué deberías hacer para obtener una segunda cita?

La mayoría de nosotros sale en una primera cita con romance en mente, por lo que una primera cita caliente siempre es buena. Pero, ¿y si quieres muchos bises y una vida feliz con esta nueva persona? En resumen, ¿qué deberías hacer para obtener una segunda cita?

Hay dos posibilidades cuando no se obtienen muchas segundas citas. El primero es que hablas todo y tu nuevo amigo piensa que no estás interesado en ellos. El primer y mejor consejo en este caso es escuchar lo que tus amigos dicen y no dominar la discusión.

La segunda posibilidad es que pienses tan mal de ti mismo que causes una mala impresión. Aquí es donde puedes tener éxito en las citas aprendiendo a amarte a ti mismo antes que nada. Puede hacerse deseable para salir con un disfraz y lucir bien. Pero también debes ser tú mismo en la primera cita, y esto se debe a que te gustas.

Habla sobre cosas interesantes en tu vida actual y en tu pasado y deja que tu nuevo amigo haga lo mismo. Omita cualquier detalle sobre relaciones previas; esto podría terminar siendo una primera cita caliente y no quiere que se convierta en una sesión de terapia. Sé sincero contigo mismo y espera lo mismo de la persona con la que saldrás. Pretender ser otra persona nunca conduce al éxito de las citas a largo plazo, así que sé tú mismo en la primera cita. Y, debido a que usted es un buen oyente, sea usted mismo en la primera cita y trate de averiguar más acerca de esa persona especial que está con usted por la noche.

Ser tú mismo y aprender a amarte a ti mismo primero no solo te lleva a una segunda cita sino que también te ayuda a evitar los peligros de las relaciones abusivas.

¿Cómo aprendes a amarte a ti mismo?

Todos somos moldeados por nuestras experiencias y nuestras experiencias provienen de donde trabajamos, y vivimos y de quienes nos rodean. Si vienes de un hogar abusivo, con demasiada frecuencia te encontrarás con una pareja abusiva. Haz las cosas que te hacen sentir bien y pasa el rato con amigos que te tratan como a un igual y te hacen sentir bien también. Si tiene problemas con esta busque ayuda profesional o busque un grupo de apoyo de grupo de autoayuda. Todos merecemos una vida feliz y una relación feliz. Y cuando te encuentres en el camino correcto, tus buenos amigos reforzarán tus buenos sentimientos hacia ti. Y tener buenos sentimientos contigo mismo te ayudará a encontrar mejores amigos. Este es un buen primer paso para el éxito en las citas aprendiendo a amarte a ti mismo antes que nada.

Succeed in Dating by Learning to Love Yourself First

You have been going out on dates and are not getting any repeats. What should you do to get a second date?

Most of us go out on a first date with romance in mind, so a hot first date is always welcome. But what if you want many encores and a happy life with this new person? In short what should you do to get a second date?

There are two possibilities when you are not getting many second dates. The first is that you do all the talking and your new friend thinks you are not interested in them. The first and best advice in this case is to listen to what your friends says and do not dominate the discussion.

The second possibility is that you think so poorly of yourself that you make a poor impression. Here is where you can succeed in dating by learning to love yourself first of all. You can make yourself desirable for dating by dressing up and looking good. But you need to be yourself on the first date as well and this comes from liking yourself.

Talk about interesting things in your current life and in your past and let your new friend do the same. Skip any details about previous relationships; this could end up being a hot first date and you do not want it to turn into a therapy session. Be truthful about yourself and expect the same from the person with whom you are going out. Pretending to be someone else never leads to dating success in the long run so be yourself on the first date. And, because the real you is a good listener, be yourself on the first date and try to find out more about that special someone who is with you for the evening.

Being yourself and learning to love yourself first not only leads to second dates it also helps you avoid the perils of abusive relationships.

How Do You Learn to Love Yourself?

We are all shaped by our experiences and our experiences come from where we work, and live and from those around us. If you come from an abusive home you will too often find yourself with abusive partner. Do the things that make you feel good and hang out with friends who treat you as an equal and make you feel good as well. If you are having trouble with this seek professional help or find a self-help group support group. We all deserve a happy life and a happy relationship. And when you get on the right track your good friends will reinforce your good feelings about yourself. And having good feelings about yourself will help you find better friends. This is a good first step to success in dating by learning to love yourself first of all.

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